Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


November 30th 2017

Vera asked Carl to put his fingertips lightly on the planchette and they waited. “Does this ever work?” he whispered, and she shushed him. After a moment, Vera spoke again, “I want to speak to Bethany Reston; Bethany, are you there?” After another minute or two, Carl said, “Vera, I don’t think this is work—” […]

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November 29th 2017

“I am filled with a great sadness,” the monster said, thumping its chest, “and then filled with a great anger.” Its eyes glowed red. “And then, predictably,” Stan said, non-plussed about the eyes, “you’re sad again.” “For no good reason,” the monster added miserably. “I disagree with you there,” Stan responded softly, leaning forward. “I […]

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November 28th 2017

“Woah! WOAH!” Natalie shouted as her bar stool swayed in time to the music. She reached down and rapped on the tusks that formed the legs. “None of that, please!” Edgar smiled. The band was playing “Bitch Better Have My Money” as a funeral dirge. “What are you going to have?” he asked, looking at […]

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November 27th 2017

The walk home was predictably awful, the names called from cars (and the shrieking laughter that accompanied them) were ludicrously vile; he trained his mind to focus on larger problems using the cracks in the sidewalk as a kind of meditative pattern. Perry did not look up. “EMO FREAK!” someone yelled as he turned from […]

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Letters from Krampus #1

November 26th 2017

So it begins. I was in the middle of a lovely dream (where Santa met me halfway in the technology-is-our-friend argument and replaced my stupid pitchfork and burlap sack with a laser cannon and spirit reclamation unit from “Ghostbusters”) when the first bag of mail arrived. Perhaps unfairly, Shelley, I hate you in advance (because […]

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November 25th 2017

It had been a shite day (of a shite week of a shite month of another shite year) and Gemma was having none of it. Sitting down hard in front of the mirror, she rummaged in the drawers of her dressing table until she found the box. Tearing the lid off, she stared inside at […]

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November 24th 2017

A door slammed open and Jessica jumped. “And here we go,” she whispered. “Just stay still,” Paul replied, taking her arm and pulling her back to stand flush against her cube wall. “It’ll blow over.” “It’s not going to just “blow over”,” Jessica replied. “In addition to going over Warren’s head to plead my case […]

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November 23rd 2017

“What is that smell?” she asked, knowing perfectly well what that smell was. “I am making blood sausage, Madam,” Herrick confirmed, removing the morning’s tea service from the table. “You despise blood sausage,” she noted, looking up into his face. “Indeed,” he agreed, “but you do not, and it is for you that I undergo […]

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November 22nd 2017

Brenda felt sad about the news and was not her usual loud and energetic self throughout the day. She smiled and was as gentle as ever before, but the song played in the back of her mind (on a perpetual loop) and it made her ache inside for reasons she could name and others she […]

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Helter Skelter

November 21st 2017

“Dude, you are putting me on,” Wolters said, clapping his friend on the shoulder. “Nobody’s coming.” “I got a message with instructions this morning,” Henner replied, his voice tight. “Instructions?” Wolters asked. “What kind of instructions?” He started laughing. “Will you quiet down?!? Jesus,” Henner blasted, rubbing his forehead. “Somebody’s coming to pick up Manson’s […]

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