“You okay?” one of the angels asked him. “I never know what to say to kids,” Death answered, hugging his coffee cup in the break room, his empty gaze pointed far, far away. “This morning, I was asked to personally guarantee that the afterlife wasn’t stupid.” “What?!?” the angel responded, shocked. “Based on a working theory that the world was created on purpose with some plan in mind, Pearl Catherine (Baton Rouge, Louisiana; age 11) has seen things that suggest the creator has low quality standards and wanted me to offer some assurances,” Death added. They looked around, noting the curling linoleum, the “Out of Order” sign on the microwave, and the foul, lingering stench of the ancient refrigerator. “I am SO grateful for my job at the Harp Registry right now,” the angel said apologetically. Death just nodded, miserable.