Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


February 11th 2017 in Microfiction

“May I help you?” the clerk asked. “I’m shopping for a new heart,” Phillips replied. “Excellent,” the clerk responded. “We have a new heart-and-soul tandem design that’s very popular (if there’s a cause you long to put both into). We have our sleeve models, fully customizable, and, of course, our heart of gold in the case behind me.” “I’ve had a big heart, a bleeding heart, and a heavy heart; I’d like something compact and a bit more durable,” Phillips explained, looking disinterestedly at the contents of the glass case. “Do you have any beady black hearts, by chance?” The clerk smiled broadly. “We keep those in the back; please follow me.”

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“You okay?” one of the angels asked him. “I never know what to say to kids,” Death answered, hugging his coffee cup in the break room, his empty gaze pointed far, far away. “This morning, I was asked to personally guarantee that the afterlife wasn’t stupid.” “What?!?” the angel responded, shocked. “Based on a working […]

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I don’t wonder.
I don’t sit around thinking about what it would be like to be someone else, somewhere else, doing something else.
I understand the temptation.
But it’s fucking pointless.
Hell will be there.
Under all of the happiness you’re so convinced that other life would have.
If it wasn’t already there, you’d make your own.
You know […]

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