Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

Letters from Krampus #1

November 26th 2017 in Microfiction

So it begins.
I was in the middle of a lovely dream (where Santa met me halfway in the technology-is-our-friend argument and replaced my stupid pitchfork and burlap sack with a laser cannon and spirit reclamation unit from “Ghostbusters”) when the first bag of mail arrived.
Perhaps unfairly, Shelley, I hate you in advance (because you are the first envelope of so very many and your loopy crap prose means my fresh hell is underway).
No, I am not a special edition My Pretty Pony (just because I have hooves).
No, I do not believe that friendship is magic.
No, I have never seen a unicorn, do not believe in them, don’t know where in the world you’re getting that “they poop ice cream” rubbish, and I’d eat the last one (if I discovered it) just for spite.
Because that’s who I am, Shelley.
Cry yourself to sleep and dream of burlap.

Krampus


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