Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

Letters from Krampus #3

December 10th 2017 in Microfiction

Dear Donna,

What does “Krampusnacht” mean? Well, roughly translated, it’s: “Get in the sack, you little shit.” It’s a special time where all of the vile terrors roaming the planet in girl and boy form get to pause and ask themselves, “Will he get me this year or will he not?”. I eventually get all of them, Donna. Every. Single. One.

Thanks for the bribe. The oatmeal raisin cookie, pulverized by its voyage through the mail service, arrived a sticky mess and ruined several other letters. Typically, this would amuse the heck out of me, but I was out doing my job on the night in question (in your neighborhood, shoving Finn Peters into The Sack), when I caught a whiff of fresh chocolate chip cookies baking at your house. Chocolate chip, Donna; Santa’s favorite kind, my favorite kind, everyone’s favorite damn kind.

See you soon, but never soon enough.

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