Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy
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August 4th 2015 in Blather

He placed the oxygen prongs into his nose and grimaced; he hated this part. Movies (they’d all chosen names of things they missed) looked at the dial; the gel (once loaded into his lungs) would give him 46 minutes of scavenging. “Cool,” he whispered. He could get Up Top, move swiftly to the large apartment […]

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August 3rd 2015

“Definitely cracked and broken. We can cap these or pull them and do dentures,” the Night Dentist said. “No pulling!” the nosferatu hissed. It was odd to see such a horrifying creature look so vulnerable and afraid. “I understand your fears completely,” the dentist said in a gentle tone. “To put the caps on, I’ll […]

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August 1st 2015

Eventually, Dracula embraced a bit of technology, under the gentle prodding of the young ones (those under 500 years of age). The camera wouldn’t pick his image up to FaceTime, but Skype was okay; he found IMs insufferable, but he took to email a bit and seemed passably interested in keeping in touch. Although technically […]

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July 31st 2015

“The mortal coil can get … a little trippy,” the angel said, laughing. “You’re not kidding,” the soul said. “It got so insufferable so fast.” “The definition of ‘insufferable’ varies, of course,” the angel replied. “Well, I would define ‘insufferable’ as having the world turn on you – having your life ruined by something stupid!” […]

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July 30th 2015

Tiki rushed in shaking all over. “Man, are there some things in the woods!  Those are some SMELLS!” he said, wiggling excitedly. “I know!” Bentley chimed in. “I got a huge whiff of undead horde!” “I was downwind of a migrating werewolf pack on my way over,” Max added, scratching his ears. “There are at […]

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July 29th 2015

Arlene went to the library and pieced together enough information to successfully trap the demon in the garage for an hour or so. In forcing it to speak, she confirmed that not much could be done to deflect, dispel, or minimize the doom coming to her family, but she really kind of admired its clear […]

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July 28th 2015

“I know what it’s like to be your age and feel curious,” his dad said and Smaug could feel his face flush red. “It’s just … not a good idea … at such a young age … to search for this stuff on the internet. It’s dangerous, Son.” Smaug groaned. “I won’t do it again.” […]

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July 27th 2015

“I told Robert to mail these out posthumously so, TA DA, the fat lady is thusly singing,” the letter said. “I want you to remember me going out the way I came in – making a fuss and looking for the free drinks, my cheeks rosy and my hair Hollywood perfect.” “Don’t let yourself dwell […]

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July 24th 2015

As they sat in the bar, Luke’s training continued. “The Force moves with us, moves through us, is part of us,” Obi Wan said, signaling for another round. “So,” Luke interjected, “the Force is in all of us?” “No,” the Jedi master replied very abruptly. “You must resist childish generalities like that. The Force is […]

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