Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy
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May 25th 2015 in Microfiction

The Captain of the Honor Guard was called to the site, and he resigned himself to seeing some kind of protest in place. As he neared the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, he saw the typical holiday crowds and the infantrymen standing impeccably in position. “What’s up?” he said to the off-duty guard who had […]

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May 23rd 2015

Jaclyn looked down from the stage and saw that the Miss America pageant judges had turned into ex-boyfriends who truly hated her; they started asking her the finalist questions in Hungarian and she starting crying. Jaclyn woke up laughing, confused, and a little horrified. “Everything all right, Honey?” her mom called from the other side […]

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May 22nd 2015

When it was time, the Tin Man ordered his decommissioning and gathered his loved ones around him. Their stainless steel, platinum, and titanium panels shone in the bright sun, truly beautiful, but he did not talk to them about routine maintenance, compound alloys, and operating systems. He urged them to practice patience with glitches in […]

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May 21st 2015

“I guess I’m wondering what the hell you’re doing; do you want EVERYONE to hate you?” Amanda asked, offended and enraged. “Yes,” Stephanie replied. “For the purpose of the work, everyone can hate me.” She fell into a coughing fit that lasted a few minutes. Amanda stood up and grabbed her things. “Well, here’s to […]

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May 20th 2015

While Mike started up the mower, little Joey stood at the window and cried and waved – not at him, but the grass. Eventually, Pam came to comfort him and steered him away to set up a mini birthday party with plates for the cookies and glasses of milk. When Mike was finished, he came […]

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May 19th 2015

“I see Misery, Suffering, and Death are getting all of the press today – again,” Harmony said, throwing the paper down. “All day, every day,” replied Growth, nodding. “Maybe we need to fire our PR firm,” Transformation added with a shrug. “Do we even HAVE a PR firm?” asked Perseverance, irritated. “We could try something […]

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May 18th 2015

The saffron and maroon hovercraft approached the depot and docked. “How can I help you?” asked the attendant in Bay 5; the two monks smiled. “We have come to return our droids. They are in perfect condition and have performed very well, but they are a burden to our way of life.” “Uhhh, okay,” replied […]

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May 16th 2015

“Once upon a midnight dreary,” she read to them and they giggled. “Blah blah blah But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token, and the only word there spoken was the whispered word ‘Lenore!’ blah blah blah.” “How long is it? Does it go on and on?” Audrey asked. “We haven’t even […]

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May 15th 2015

It had bitten him four times – hard. Minding his own business, and the damn thing just walked up and bit him, kicking him afterwards as it left. Now, he was always looking over his shoulder and trying to see into the barn before he went in. You could never tell where it was going […]

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