Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


January 30th 2017

The door flew open and The Danger burst into the room quaking with rage. Sugar sat very still, tense and on watch (lest any of the puppies she’d piled right next to her try to wander off). The Danger lunged, hitting the line, sending a wall of flame up into its face. Sugar jumped, but […]

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January 23rd 2017

“I think we’ve made tremendous progress on the ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ stereotype; there’s growing societal acceptance,” Snowball said. “Yes, I agree,” Mr. Tibbets added, addressing the room. “I applaud Engineering’s continuing good work on baselining the quality of the simulacra!” “But how are we doing in terms of social media?” Fancy asked, shaking her right […]

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January 16th 2017

“We do our bit, but we never actually thin the herd,” Frank commented. “That’s always bothered me.” The others exchanged a look, but said nothing. Across the ravine, the flock loosened a bit and a couple of stragglers wandered off into the bushes in search of food. Frank tensed. “I mean,” he started, “isn’t that […]

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December 22nd 2016

David brushed off everybody’s thanks, shooing them out of the door and wishing them a merry-happy-whatever-you-celebrate. He rubbed his hands and got to work putting blankets and pillows in the common room, placing bowls of water in all four corners, setting out a zillion toys, and filling every pocket (pants, shirt, jacket) with treats. Humming […]

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December 19th 2016

“I shouldn’t watch television anymore,” Jay said, reaching out instinctively to pet his dog. “I feel like the whole world is missing the damn point.” The flatscreen blared with an argument about global spending, power, conflict, uncertainty, and doom. “Gawd,” Jay grumbled, turning it off. He leaned back and closed his eyes, letting his left […]

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October 14th 2016

“You gonna be okay?” Larson asked, turning around and around in a circle to find that exact right spot to lay down. “I’m fine,” Pepper replied, irritated. “A little tired from making an effort big enough for BOTH OF US.” Larson sighed and put his head down. “I told you not to bother,” he said […]

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October 11th 2016

“This rare octopus, found in what I’ll call “impossibly deep” water, is a rarity,” the guide began. “It controls its phosphorescence, going bright and dark at will. We think this is a hunting mechanism, designed to make it appear invisible to prey until it’s upon them.” Someone in the crowd shuddered (one of the mothers); […]

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October 3rd 2016

“Our program uses biological markers and behavioral characteristics to form a criminal profile of the animal – in order to determine if they would commit murder,” Ladley said before the group. A hand shot up. “You said ‘murder’. Do you mean actual homicidal intent outside of the need to find food?” came the question. “Yes,” […]

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September 26th 2016

“One of us has to stand up to him,” Aaron said. “I took him on last time, remember?” Dylan said, pointing to the scar. “Do we have to go in alone?” Beth whispered. “Yes,” Aaron confirmed. “He’ll go insane if we all show up and try to grab him.” “No one will be left alive,” […]

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September 2nd 2016

Popcorn was a house dog, simple as that. She liked her water fresh, her kibble heaping, and plenty of table scraps held down well within reach. Popcorn liked her yard, her house, her family (for the most part), and her memory foam bed with a clean pile of blankets for endless turning-in-a-circle fun. She was […]

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