Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


March 27th 2017

Phil cared for every animal dumped out at the junkyard. He tended to their injuries (that first aid class at the community college had always come in handy), kept them safe (made warm and comfortable shelters out of scraps of this and that, heated with a caged lamp insert that he ran minimally off of […]

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March 8th 2017

Mel came through the door silently, then threw the dog into the living room. “You little shit, you’re going to get us killed.” He carefully divested himself of his protective gear, gun, and backpack. “One of these days, I’m just going to leave you outside, have a beer, and yell, “Bye bye, Snack!” through the […]

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February 14th 2017

He fussed and fussed (as only the lonely can), arranging the meal just so, cutting a sprig of fresh parsley to place on top. They watched him silently, offering neither judgment nor encouragement. “Dinner is served, darlings!” He called out cheerily, placing the small, delicate china plates on the floor. The cats stared at the […]

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January 30th 2017

The door flew open and The Danger burst into the room quaking with rage. Sugar sat very still, tense and on watch (lest any of the puppies she’d piled right next to her try to wander off). The Danger lunged, hitting the line, sending a wall of flame up into its face. Sugar jumped, but […]

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January 23rd 2017

“I think we’ve made tremendous progress on the ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ stereotype; there’s growing societal acceptance,” Snowball said. “Yes, I agree,” Mr. Tibbets added, addressing the room. “I applaud Engineering’s continuing good work on baselining the quality of the simulacra!” “But how are we doing in terms of social media?” Fancy asked, shaking her right […]

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January 16th 2017

“We do our bit, but we never actually thin the herd,” Frank commented. “That’s always bothered me.” The others exchanged a look, but said nothing. Across the ravine, the flock loosened a bit and a couple of stragglers wandered off into the bushes in search of food. Frank tensed. “I mean,” he started, “isn’t that […]

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December 22nd 2016

David brushed off everybody’s thanks, shooing them out of the door and wishing them a merry-happy-whatever-you-celebrate. He rubbed his hands and got to work putting blankets and pillows in the common room, placing bowls of water in all four corners, setting out a zillion toys, and filling every pocket (pants, shirt, jacket) with treats. Humming […]

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December 19th 2016

“I shouldn’t watch television anymore,” Jay said, reaching out instinctively to pet his dog. “I feel like the whole world is missing the damn point.” The flatscreen blared with an argument about global spending, power, conflict, uncertainty, and doom. “Gawd,” Jay grumbled, turning it off. He leaned back and closed his eyes, letting his left […]

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October 14th 2016

“You gonna be okay?” Larson asked, turning around and around in a circle to find that exact right spot to lay down. “I’m fine,” Pepper replied, irritated. “A little tired from making an effort big enough for BOTH OF US.” Larson sighed and put his head down. “I told you not to bother,” he said […]

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October 11th 2016

“This rare octopus, found in what I’ll call “impossibly deep” water, is a rarity,” the guide began. “It controls its phosphorescence, going bright and dark at will. We think this is a hunting mechanism, designed to make it appear invisible to prey until it’s upon them.” Someone in the crowd shuddered (one of the mothers); […]

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