Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

Clause

June 23rd 2016

Ursula sighed. “Let me guess,” she said, her mouth in a tight line that turned down at the corners, looking at them out of the corner of her eye. “You want to trade something you think you’ll never miss for your one sorry shot at love.” They trembled inside the mouth of the cave, nodding […]

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Picture

June 15th 2016

“It was Stark’s idea,” Thor said, grinning when he saw the photographer’s jaw drop. They were all painted green, wearing Iron Man novelty boxers, a large hammer pendant, white knee socks with black spiders on them, a stars-and-stripes bandana, and a fake tattoo of an arrow on their right biceps. “And it’s genius, frankly,” Bruce […]

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Wands

June 14th 2016

“So you bought a wand on the black market?” the reporter asked. “Yes, that’s how it started,” Cinderella replied. “They come fully charged and you can use them – as a normal, non-magical person – to do a number of things before they fade.” “And what did you do with it?” came the next question. […]

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Words

May 26th 2016

Susan finished her reply and sent it off. She answered all of her fan mail personally (although she signed her responses as “Simone”), and typically got a lot of email when the last chapters of the audiobook were released and the work was done. “It’s so beautiful,” Susan had said to her agent earlier in […]

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Memories

May 17th 2016

“We worked together for many, many years,” she said, gazing into her coffee with a smile. “All throughout our teens and 20s. We traveled together, lived together, made a difference where we could – even rescued a dog or two and made them part of the family. Home was a van we bought for $600 […]

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Personals

April 30th 2016

“You: one of a kind, practical yet passionate, demure but also dangerous, loyal to family and gracious to staff; you wouldn’t mind a couple of kids of your own if you could raise them in a haunted Victorian with its own cemetery on the grounds (children must have a place to play). Me: fortunate in […]

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Ethics

April 18th 2016

Wednesday emerged from her room wearing a necklace of teeth. When the others complimented her at dinner, she grimly explained, “I left the Tooth Fairy a note last night, asking her how she thought it was okay to reward children meagerly for selling their body parts. I closed by saying that I knew she was […]

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Discovery

April 13th 2016

Nearly all of the land and air forces had been destroyed before the discovery was made. When it was observed (by an eight year old boy playing near his father’s merchandise kiosk off of Isshiki Beach) that Godzilla wasn’t hunting humans, he was just trying to get to the closest sushi cart or restaurant, government […]

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Email

March 10th 2016

He was reluctant to launch the website, but the first email hooked him. There was no anger or whining, no criticism about the way things simply were. People just wanted his best advice on how to live and not muck things up so badly that nobody loved them. “It’s not what I was expecting,” Death […]

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Battle

January 23rd 2016

The virus took the village in less than 48 hours and when, as zombies, they rushed the castle on that third night, it was a bloodbath – the happy, friendly, direction-giving guards providing no actual protection. Of the princesses at the state dinner, only five had seen actual combat and garnered some survival skills. Jasmine […]

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