Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


March 3rd 2017

“Any vacation that starts with ‘It’ll be fine and it’s what we can afford’ is already lame,” she said flatly to the others (standing on the curb, waiting for the Uber driver). The three of them sighed. “Don’t jinx it; there’s still hope,” Fred responded (unconvincingly). “Here he is.” In the distance, headlights came into […]

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March 1st 2017

“You’re a long way from Denmark,” the gentleman on the doorstep said, showing his badge. She sighed and gestured for him enter. “Rumored to be the happiest place on earth,” he continued, moving into the living room and sitting down. “Expert marketing,” she said with a smile, “and nothing more.” “Bad enough that you faked […]

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February 15th 2017

“We understand that … well … the Tibetans … and others … believe that the Lama immediately reincarnates … and this is verified by a number of tests,” the man said slowly and carefully, staring down at his hands. “We reached out to you (as the only Buddhist we know),” his wife continued, offering a […]

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June 23rd 2016

Ursula sighed. “Let me guess,” she said, her mouth in a tight line that turned down at the corners, looking at them out of the corner of her eye. “You want to trade something you think you’ll never miss for your one sorry shot at love.” They trembled inside the mouth of the cave, nodding […]

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June 15th 2016

“It was Stark’s idea,” Thor said, grinning when he saw the photographer’s jaw drop. They were all painted green, wearing Iron Man novelty boxers, a large hammer pendant, white knee socks with black spiders on them, a stars-and-stripes bandana, and a fake tattoo of an arrow on their right biceps. “And it’s genius, frankly,” Bruce […]

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June 14th 2016

“So you bought a wand on the black market?” the reporter asked. “Yes, that’s how it started,” Cinderella replied. “They come fully charged and you can use them – as a normal, non-magical person – to do a number of things before they fade.” “And what did you do with it?” came the next question. […]

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May 26th 2016

Susan finished her reply and sent it off. She answered all of her fan mail personally (although she signed her responses as “Simone”), and typically got a lot of email when the last chapters of the audiobook were released and the work was done. “It’s so beautiful,” Susan had said to her agent earlier in […]

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May 17th 2016

“We worked together for many, many years,” she said, gazing into her coffee with a smile. “All throughout our teens and 20s. We traveled together, lived together, made a difference where we could – even rescued a dog or two and made them part of the family. Home was a van we bought for $600 […]

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April 30th 2016

“You: one of a kind, practical yet passionate, demure but also dangerous, loyal to family and gracious to staff; you wouldn’t mind a couple of kids of your own if you could raise them in a haunted Victorian with its own cemetery on the grounds (children must have a place to play). Me: fortunate in […]

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April 18th 2016

Wednesday emerged from her room wearing a necklace of teeth. When the others complimented her at dinner, she grimly explained, “I left the Tooth Fairy a note last night, asking her how she thought it was okay to reward children meagerly for selling their body parts. I closed by saying that I knew she was […]

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