Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

Counseling

March 20th 2017

“Well, the first thing we do is get them into counseling,” Lord Chamberlain told the reporter. “These women are not ready for the rigors of royal life – not by any stretch of the imagination.” “Because they’re commoners or have been away from castle life for so long that they lack the refinement they need?” […]

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Rendezvous

March 10th 2017

“You came!” he cried out, delighted. “After everything … I didn’t think you would.” She sat down and looked up at him, smiling sweetly. “I just … well, first things first: would you like a drink?” She shook her head ‘no’. “Okay, well don’t go anywhere; I’ll be right back!” he said happily (heading to […]

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Patrol

March 8th 2017

Mel came through the door silently, then threw the dog into the living room. “You little shit, you’re going to get us killed.” He carefully divested himself of his protective gear, gun, and backpack. “One of these days, I’m just going to leave you outside, have a beer, and yell, “Bye bye, Snack!” through the […]

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Armor

February 25th 2017

They moved very quickly, on high alert, out to the garage. Once inside, Shelby moved to the back and dragged the sheet off of his project. “An armored car,” his dad whispered. “Two layers of reinforced scrap metal sheeting with an inch between for the air system (4 hoses attached from this outside intake mount). […]

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Delicious

February 24th 2017

“He was smooth as glass – smooth as anything,” Nancy said dreamily. Robin sighed, thinking that Nancy (and every other female on the planet) had all of the luck. “And then he slipped a Rufi into my drink,” Nancy concluded. “WHAT?!? He did what?!?” Robin reacted, horrified. “I KNOW,” Nancy laughed. “My gawd! Did anything […]

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Jars

February 21st 2017

“The Tukii believe that our emotions form a moving layer directly under our skin,” Miriam said, pouring herself another sherry. “They can align with us or betray us (which seems to the Tukii to indicate intelligence and will), so that layer is treated like a separate being entirely.” “That must make everything extremely complicated,” Gary […]

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Instructions

February 6th 2017

They opened the first bottle of champagne and prepared to toast. “I have to ask; forgive me,” Russell interjected and they all smiled. “You DID follow the burial instructions to the letter, yes? Down to the very last detail?” He looked at Emily, who sighed. “I’m sure the funeral director thought I was completely insane […]

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Impact

February 1st 2017

Margaret saw it line up; the car, its inability to stop, the way they would collide, where it would go wrong and where it would be okay. Time hung, suspended, the way it did around these things (giving its lie away: that the rules of this world only generally apply; they can be altered as […]

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Reflections

January 31st 2017

She gave him a mug of tea (matte black, inside and out). He looked carefully around the room trying not to stare; there were blackout curtains on all of the windows; low-finished woodgrain flooring had been recently installed over what he could only assume was vinyl (given the age of the house and its kitchen); […]

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Comfort

January 30th 2017

The door flew open and The Danger burst into the room quaking with rage. Sugar sat very still, tense and on watch (lest any of the puppies she’d piled right next to her try to wander off). The Danger lunged, hitting the line, sending a wall of flame up into its face. Sugar jumped, but […]

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