Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


March 9th 2018

“STUPID CAT!” Joe yelled, sitting up and throwing his slipper at the door. “Wha- … what’s going on?” Carol murmured sleepily. “Furball is out there in the hallway drinking gallons of water; it’s making me nuts!” he explained, frustrated. “Furball is right here,” Carol whispered, sitting up next to him, but pointing to the cat. […]

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March 5th 2018

The first crow appeared in the yard, followed by a second and a third. A fourth. A fifth. More. Still more. Crows everywhere, squawking loudly as they touched down, arrogant in their numbers. Peter and Sonja watched, standing far back from the picture window. “They’re punch drunk from landing,” Peter whispered, staring straight ahead. “Exhausted […]

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February 24th 2018

“What I want to stress here is that you BARK, not BITE,” Royal said to Hank, Fluff, and Raisin. They stood staring at the party in progress from the doorway to the den. “We know that some of these people aren’t people,” Royal continued. “We don’t have a clue what the non-people actually are and […]

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February 17th 2018

When the police arrived, they found the gunmen disarmed and hog-tied in the cafeteria (bound with zip ties used by the Gardening Club). Not a single shot had been fired. Questioning the staff at the nursing home shed no light on what had happened and the police left without a clear narrative of the event. […]

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January 19th 2018

The old house groaned as it settled, full of complaints. It creaked, popped, and whined about the world in its stone foundation – in its walls and floors. They listened to its cries and curses all day. “The house has a lot to say,” one of them remarked in the evening over dinner. “Very vocal,” […]

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January 2nd 2018

He shut the doors and windows securely against the wind. “I think I could deal with the cold,” Sam said, watching the trees in the yard sway and bend, “if it wasn’t for the wind. I hate the wind.” Roaring northwesterly across the corner lot, the wind threw sticks at the siding and howled down […]

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December 30th 2017

Tara stayed in her car, breathing deeply; she felt him drive the last few blocks and pull up across the street. The feed was frightening (painpainhatreddangerpaindyinghatredpain), but she did not move from where she was parked. “Is he back?” came the voice on speaker. “Yes,” Tara replied. “Every Saturday morning like clockwork. Really scary clockwork.” […]

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December 28th 2017

“Allow me to say ‘wow’,” John whispered, “with extra wow on the side, served on a bed of wow with wow sauce.” She laughed, so intoxicatingly beautiful when she smiled that he felt weak in the knees. “I made an effort this year,” Lily said softly, accepting a glass of pink champagne. “The time felt […]

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December 14th 2017

Activating the hidden camera, Trevor smiled; he watched while Nash and Revik trudged up to the pine tree in deep snow, scattering dog toys about the base for the sanctuary wolves. Unable to help himself, Revik squeezed the rubber cheeseburger. “Foooeeeeeeeeppppth,” it squeaked, as loud as thunder in the silence. “Uh, guys,” Trevor said into […]

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December 13th 2017

The aliens stood (tall and elegant on two legs, with large opalescent eyes forward in what could be described as a very human-sized head) in front of the welcome party. “We have come at last,” one of the three said through a translation device. “It is a great honor for me to welcome you to […]

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