Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

Diary Pages: Kris Kringle

November 19th 2017

The sorcerer called and the potion is ready. “Jolly in a Bottle”. I’m to drink it down at dawn on the day after Thanksgiving.
 It’s the only way to survive what’s coming: the annoying prattle of the elves, the whining, squealing children, the gut-shredding food, the 24/7 work schedule, the vapid, ignoble horror of it […]

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Diary Pages: Nymphadora Lupin (“Tonks”)

November 12th 2017

Do not look outside of yourself for a beautiful life, Teddy; look inside. You have our gifts as well as your own; hopelessly flawed and ridiculous, we have given you the best of ourselves (and a couple of things to keep you humble) – all of it yours to use as you see fit. Make […]

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Diary Pages: *** encrypted entry ***

November 5th 2017

I told him that his theory was crap (complete and utter crap), but money is money, so I signed on. And he’s right, they’re coming back. Marie Curie has been identified (Tibet); Einstein has been identified (Canada); Churchill as been identified (Peru). 
We just got word today that Bowie is alive and well in the […]

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Diary Pages: R. M. Renfield

October 29th 2017

They taunt me, pressing for inconsistencies in my story. Finding none, they choose to abuse me in their frustration rather than accept that I am right and take heed. Seward. Harker. They are too close to it, but Van Helsing knows that the master is real. I see it in his furrowed brow, the downward […]

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Diary Pages: H.P. Lovecraft

October 22nd 2017

They ask about my writing with an air of pre-disappointment in their voices as if it will pain them anew to have me confirm that my work is neither popular nor scholarly; I frequently point to the pages in progress as if the need to finish them has made me deaf. I have picked the […]

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Diary Pages: Krampus

October 15th 2017

Got my costume. I’ve been going as Pan from “Pan’s Labyrinth” for years, but I want to shake things up. So I’m going as Santa Claus. 
 It’ll be so festive!
 My two favorite holidays together for one spectacular evening! Ugh. I waited too long to shop (as per freaking usual). It was the Santa […]

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Diary Pages: Bruce Banner

October 8th 2017

For a long time (my 20s-30s), I contemplated taking anger management classes (actually enrolling on my own). At the end of the day, however, it seemed like a bad idea to be in a situation where I’d be mad at myself for getting mad at the world. Self-acceptance never really happened, but I became an […]

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Diary Pages: Samuel Clemens

October 1st 2017

I’m called “Mark” just as often as I’m called by my Christian name and I answer to both. It suits me fine. If I were writing under a cloak of deception, I’d stay indoors – not out on the porch having a sweet tea with pipe in hand (as I am now). From the beginning, […]

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Diary Pages: Nevermore

September 24th 2017

Not good. He opened my cage, I flew up here to stretch my wings (I’ve done it a million times before), and he’s been having a psychotic episode ever since. The muttering; the crazy eyes; the frenzied scribbling.
 Who the hell’s “Lenore”?
 Time to look for an open window and make a break for it.

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Diary Pages: Auntie Em

September 17th 2017

After the storm, we looked and looked, calling her name until night fell and we had no voices left. Nothing. The men fear the worst, but I am calm (even happy). When I saw the funnel cloud, I knew that Oz had come for the girl, just as it had come for me (back in […]

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