Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


February 3rd 2017

They sat together in companionable silence. A fire had been lit in the great hall; he was online reading the news of the world while Livia spun, Petra crocheted, and Catherine struggled with her embroidery. “Shit!” she exclaimed, driving the needle deep into her finger for the third time. “Language!” Dracula chided, not even turning […]

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January 19th 2017

“There is one other location,” Janosz told the new servants, who clung to each other in the middle of the basement room, staring at the rows of coffins. “H-h-how many wives does he have?” one asked, trembling. “These and one more,” Janosz replied. They would adjust or they would not, and – if they did […]

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January 6th 2017

“C’mere,” Esmeralda whispered to Borger, gesturing that he should follow her into the bathroom. “Exactly what kind of help do you need?” Borger answered drolly, cracking a smile. “Ass,” she replied. “Get. In. Here.” Checking to make sure that no one was coming down the passage, he stepped forward through the doorway. “Look look look,” […]

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December 5th 2016

“His gift will change philology forever, and I do not make that claim lightly,” Rupert said, standing, to the gathering of his colleagues. “I have seen the material and I … was left speechless.” Dr. Meier spoke up. “Is it true? About the Hurrian? Someone … something … wrote to him in a dialect of […]

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November 11th 2016

He swept into the room with no warning; at the makeup stations, 2 of the 3 women froze. “I know that it’s you, Ylla,” Dracula said, sitting down. She continued to adjust her false eyelashes and rearrange her curls; she did not search for his reflection (for he was well over a thousand years old […]

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November 5th 2016

“Romania has the best taxi service in the world – the easiest scheduling, the best (and friendliest) drivers, and the lowest fares,” Helen said, smiling and holding open the door. “That surprises me,” Carl replied. “Is tourism that important?” “Airport,” Helen said to the cabbie, who nodded. “It’s not the tourism, it’s … the Dragon.” […]

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October 24th 2016

“Ill-advised,” Alistair said, blocking the hallway with his arm. “I need to see him,” Miranda responded, immediately cross, “just for a moment.” She pushed past and was nearly at Dracula’s private study door when Alistair called after her. “He’s reading Keats,” he said softly and she froze. “Also Donne and Shakespeare. Last night was Rainer […]

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October 6th 2016

Dracula had cornered one of The Turned in the hallway and was in that person’s face – arms straight, palms against the wall on either side of their head, unflinching stare. “Poor wretch,” one of his wives whispered to another, observing the scene. “What’s that about?” “He is determined to preserve the old ways; today, […]

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April 14th 2016

Charlene looked down at the would-be mugger, out cold on the pavement. “So … you’re like … what? A crimefighter? Some kind of avenger?” she asked. “I am neither,” her hero replied, his face overly serious and drawn under the streetlight. “I simply cannot tolerate those who prey upon the innocent, lurking in the shadows, […]

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March 1st 2016

“These ideas for my ‘new image’ … present them,” he said in a cool and commanding voice. “Well,” Cole said, standing up, “I’m thinking ‘ramp up the sex appeal’, y’know? Feed back into the ‘True Blood’ market; buy some bars, have a line of sexy cocktails, do some crazy adverts where supermodels get turned. Real […]

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