Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

Counsel

September 11th 2017

“So … uh … so a little bit confusing here,” the lawyer said. “In the breach, records going back an impossible number of years returned attached to you, so … ” “How many years?” he asked, controlling the urge to smile. “Well, really a stupid amount … clearly, your information was compromised, even corrupted in […]

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Origin

August 11th 2017

He stared at the new recruits, his eyes blazing; they shuddered involuntarily, refused to meet his gaze. He ranted for several moments in long dead languages, then turned into a horrible creature with expansive leathery wings and flung himself mercilessly against the stone walls of the great hall. They gasped and clung to each other, […]

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Reality

June 9th 2017

Elisabeth looked at her right side then her left, crestfallen. “They’re not feathery,” she said, her eyes glistening. “No,” Dracula said gently. “And they’re black … they’re jet black,” she added, a tear escaping onto her cheek. “Yes,” he responded, taking her into his arms, “they’re black.” “It’s not what I imagined,” Elisabeth sobbed into […]

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Grace

March 17th 2017

They watched him mesmerize the girl, her eyes growing wide and then soft and unfocused. He leaned in tenderly to put his lips against her throat. “You see that my hands rest gently on her shoulders, neither clutching nor dragging her closer to me,” Dracula said aloud. “I do not need her body to balance […]

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Language

February 3rd 2017

They sat together in companionable silence. A fire had been lit in the great hall; he was online reading the news of the world while Livia spun, Petra crocheted, and Catherine struggled with her embroidery. “Shit!” she exclaimed, driving the needle deep into her finger for the third time. “Language!” Dracula chided, not even turning […]

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Chic

January 19th 2017

“There is one other location,” Janosz told the new servants, who clung to each other in the middle of the basement room, staring at the rows of coffins. “H-h-how many wives does he have?” one asked, trembling. “These and one more,” Janosz replied. They would adjust or they would not, and – if they did […]

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List

January 6th 2017

“C’mere,” Esmeralda whispered to Borger, gesturing that he should follow her into the bathroom. “Exactly what kind of help do you need?” Borger answered drolly, cracking a smile. “Ass,” she replied. “Get. In. Here.” Checking to make sure that no one was coming down the passage, he stepped forward through the doorway. “Look look look,” […]

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Scholars

December 5th 2016

“His gift will change philology forever, and I do not make that claim lightly,” Rupert said, standing, to the gathering of his colleagues. “I have seen the material and I … was left speechless.” Dr. Meier spoke up. “Is it true? About the Hurrian? Someone … something … wrote to him in a dialect of […]

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Change

November 11th 2016

He swept into the room with no warning; at the makeup stations, 2 of the 3 women froze. “I know that it’s you, Ylla,” Dracula said, sitting down. She continued to adjust her false eyelashes and rearrange her curls; she did not search for his reflection (for he was well over a thousand years old […]

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Taxi

November 5th 2016

“Romania has the best taxi service in the world – the easiest scheduling, the best (and friendliest) drivers, and the lowest fares,” Helen said, smiling and holding open the door. “That surprises me,” Carl replied. “Is tourism that important?” “Airport,” Helen said to the cabbie, who nodded. “It’s not the tourism, it’s … the Dragon.” […]

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