Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


September 23rd 2017

When Scott pulled up, Bill was sitting on the porch smoking a cigarette in the dark (the lights of his house going on and off with screeching and roaring filling the cul-de-sac). “Dude,” he said, “your house is going nuts.” “Yeah,” Bill responded. “The things in the closet, attic, basement, and surrounding forest are having […]

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September 22nd 2017

Yumi met her teacher and classmates out at the site to present her design: a round independent living habitat that sat securely on its own platform high above the ground. “The ladder retracts,” she explained, using the remote to drop it down. “Two at a time, please.” For the next hour, they toured the little […]

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July 31st 2017

“Spider!” she replied and kept moving furniture, poised to jump, scream, and smash it with her shoe if it showed itself. “Oh, god,” Shaun added. “Help me look for it!” Barbara begged. “I’m going to bed,” Shaun commented, backing out of the room. “Good luck.” For the next thirty minutes, Barbara braved every corner, area […]

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July 24th 2017

Norman heard the whooping and the hollering in the side yard and muttered to himself from the chair to the switch that turned on the holy water sprinkler system. When the noise turned to shrieks and hisses, he laughed. “How you like THAT?!? Damn fool rabble-rousers!” The silence held for a while until, off in […]

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June 19th 2017

“I feel at home outdoors, you know?” Matt whispered in the darkness. “There’s something primal about it.” “Yes, there’s something very primal about your posh tent, your arctic sleeping bag, and your Coleman camping stove,” Erica whispered in reply. “YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,” Matt huffed. “I just like being out in nature – looking […]

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June 2nd 2017

“I HEARD FOOTSTEPS!” Mimi cried. “Oh, Honey,” her father said softly, patting her. He rose from the bed and opened the closet door carefully. “See? No one is there. Not in here, not in the hallway, and not downstairs.” She sniffled. “But I heard something.” “I know, Sweetie,” her father said. “My imagination can play […]

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February 27th 2017

“I was wondering about your custom leatherwork,” said the caller. “Yep,” Jack said. “We do a lot of unique pieces; we’ve used just about every kind of leather.” “That’s wonderful,” the caller responded. “Would you have any problem making something out of human skin? I understand if it’s more.” Jack rolled his eyes. They got […]

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February 4th 2017

“The transformation is not romantic,” Warren told the newbies (who were hanging on his every word), “and you will not have omnipotent power. The full moon does not beam your sorry behind into a high budget Hollywood film. Your bones will break; your cartilage will explode in order to reconfigure; your skin will shred; it […]

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December 9th 2016

Jim sat in his car, not sure why he couldn’t turn it off and get out. Holiday music blared on the lot and lights twinkled, strung into a makeshift awning. “So many trees,” Jim whispered, hands still gripping the wheel tightly. “Doesn’t the forest miss all of its trees?” Someone banged on his car; Jim […]

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November 30th 2016

“I just don’t want to die in a stupid way,” he said, wringing his hands. “I just don’t want that to be the only thing memorable about me.” The old gypsy woman smiled slightly. “You will have a long life … ” “Okay, but I don’t want to die on the toilet or roll off […]

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