Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


March 3rd 2018

“My gawd,” Lead Inspector Ockten said, walking carefully through the plastic draping and shaking his head. “Look at this place.” “Worst we’ve seen, but not the first we’ve seen,” Detective Harris commented. “Over here.” In the living room, an ornate mirror had been laid flat on a fake fur ottoman, its surface strewn with black […]

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January 27th 2018

Samantha opened the front door and gasped to see an envelope taped there. “What the hell?” she muttered, irritated. Tearing it down and ripping it open, she read: “You are hereby notified that I like you when you’re in a mood, when you’re hair’s a mess, when you’re so amped up on bad gas station […]

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June 17th 2017

Tony Stark surveyed the damage. “What are you thinking?” Peter asked. “Two things: how did I get to be the idiot’s keeper, and how quickly can JARVIS bust a move on the next generation of custom tranquilizers.” “Are you wondering – even just a little bit, why he’s picked a street in Toledo for his […]

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June 3rd 2017

“I’ve taken tons of flack for my love of baking over the years,” Troy said, sifting flour into a bowl. “It’s as if the only place for a guy is in front of the television with a beer or out by the grill.” He paused to look into the camera. “I say: welcome to the […]

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May 10th 2017

Kevin ordered a side salad with no croutons and blue cheese dressing. “Dieting?” Maggie asked. He nodded. “Gotta get some control,” he added, giving his belly a pat. “Giving up carbs?” she responded, dipping her grilled cheese sandwich into its companion cup of soup. “Snausages,” Kevin replied without thinking and froze. Maggie burst into laughter […]

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November 23rd 2016

Wednesday passed through the parlor on her way to the kitchen. “Feeling peckish from a morning of voodoo?” Morticia asked, noting the bracelet pin cushion on her left wrist. “No,” she replied flatly, pausing. “I’m attending to the caramel apples. I don’t see why Halloween should be the only time we worry about the candy […]

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September 30th 2016

“Oh, man, these tomatoes are incredible,” Lawrence said, taking another bite. “It’s like summer never ended here!” Their hostess smiled. “We call those our ‘visiting tomatoes’,” she said. “Well, they are crazy fantastic,” Lawrence said again and Terri spoke up, “They really, really are. I think it’s amazing that you’d even cook with them for […]

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September 27th 2016

Susan poured herself a smoothie from the blender and settled back on the couch with a couple of iron pills to watch the news; they were covering the mysterious destruction of local gardens every full moon. She sighed heavily when her phone rang. “Hey,” she answered. “You watching the news?” Eric asked. “Of course,” Susan […]

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September 21st 2016

They met just before sunset in the clearing. Neil removed his clothing carefully and put it into a neat pile. As the others watched, he positioned his arm band (at wolf circumference) to hold his Fitbit and a small pouch. Patrick and Martha stared in disbelief as Neil put his car fob, a Swiss army […]

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September 1st 2016

After coming back from the store, Merlin made a fresh pot of coffee and set the bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream right next to the carafe. “We won’t be needing half and half today, kids,” he said softly, pouring the first of many cups, putting on his apron, and rolling up his sleeves. In the […]

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