Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

See

February 14th 2018

“I need a love spell,” Ed whispered, pushing a wad of twenties across the table. The old woman smiled. “To bring love close or send love away?” she asked him. “Uh … to bring it close,” Ed answered with a blush. They sat in silence for what seemed an eternity before the old woman pushed […]

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Diary Pages: Katie Talbot

December 31st 2017

She would not let me see her for two days. When she did finally emerge (for a bath and some whiskey), the claw marks down the side of her face stole my breath away. Great goddamn. I was so sure she was going to lose that eye. 
 Eventually, she let me see the damage, […]

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Hence

December 29th 2017

The Ghost of Christmas Future and the Ghost of New Years Hence stood silently at the railing of the overlook, the lights of the city sparkling beneath them. Christmas sighed and hugged its black robes tight to its chest for warmth and comfort. “I’m tired,” it said into the light breeze and, down below in […]

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Invitation

December 26th 2017

They looked out upon the scene: garbage bins spilling over with paper and packaging, ribbons blowing down the sidewalks and streets, people in cars speeding away from family and friends (glum behind the wheel). “What’s it all for, eh?” Raccoon asked rhetorically, gnawing at the corner of a salvaged fruitcake (someone had forgotten it on […]

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Complete

December 25th 2017

Mrs. Claus came up from the basement smiling; her long silver hair was loose and spilling over her shoulder, her red lipstick perfect above a vintage Cure t-shirt with slim black jeans tucked into her favorite boots. Santa was there (in the kitchen), his salt-and-pepper hair mussed from sleep, in a muscle shirt and Joe […]

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Letters from Krampus #5

December 24th 2017

Children, Look, I know that I’m old and it may be tempting to say, “What does a sack-lugging goat demon know about how hard my life is?”, but I get it. 
I actually get it. 
 What astounds me is how few of you pick harmony over truly bad behavior. You’re all lovely meat puppets […]

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Festive

December 23rd 2017

“What the …?” Lenora sputtered, watching Dave wander into the clearing. He kicked up his hind legs, dancing under the full moon, three jingle bells tied to his tail. “I get a point for being festive,” Dave said merrily, giving his best Moon Moon grin. “And get docked 10 points for wrecking any chance we […]

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Behavior

December 22nd 2017

“Hi,” he said shyly, sitting down and smiling at her indirectly. “I offer you formal but vague greetings directly or indirectly linked to any number of holidays or potential celebrations, should you observe, honor, or dabble in anything like that – up to and including random acts of setting things on fire for light and […]

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Real

December 19th 2017

He stepped up onto the platform in the dark, his footfalls echoing in the chamber. Moving to the throne, he turned and sat, looking out at those that had gathered in the cavern (crouching and shifting with their glittering eyes). The crowd was growing restless. He adjusted his black doublet (edged in white fur) and […]

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Letters from Krampus #4

December 17th 2017

Dear Zimmer, Uh. Wow. You … okay.
 Thank you for saying that I’m “better than What’s-His-Claus” for my understanding of the darkness in human beings. 
This is undeniably true and no one has ever just put it out there in writing. I don’t mind telling you that my greatest challenge on most days is not […]

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