Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


June 29th 2017

“Darlings, love is a losing game – just like Amy Winehouse says,” Adrian dramatized, the back of his hand lifted high upon his forehead. “We might as well put our bath robes on and have a spa night.” “I’m not playing mani/pedi with you two weeks in a row,” Charles replied flatly. “Girls just wanna […]

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May 29th 2017

“Today, we remember those who have served and still fight. We acknowledge the dignity, courage, and dedication of those who step forward to protect others, to preserve peace, to act as a champion for the most vulnerable,” Russell said, raising his glass. “Here here!” Grant called out. “Loud and proud!” Rebecca added. “We remember … […]

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February 14th 2017

He fussed and fussed (as only the lonely can), arranging the meal just so, cutting a sprig of fresh parsley to place on top. They watched him silently, offering neither judgment nor encouragement. “Dinner is served, darlings!” He called out cheerily, placing the small, delicate china plates on the floor. The cats stared at the […]

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January 6th 2017

“C’mere,” Esmeralda whispered to Borger, gesturing that he should follow her into the bathroom. “Exactly what kind of help do you need?” Borger answered drolly, cracking a smile. “Ass,” she replied. “Get. In. Here.” Checking to make sure that no one was coming down the passage, he stepped forward through the doorway. “Look look look,” […]

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January 2nd 2017

Thor howled with laughter as he told the others about New Year’s Eve in Asgard: the rivers of beer, the practical jokes, the Bifrost quick trip (where Heimdall sends you wherever he wants you to go for 5 minutes), and the “resolution swap” (where everyone puts their goals into a ceremonial golden bowl and pulls […]

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December 31st 2016

They asked for a pack of smokes and wished her a happy new year; Julie smiled, rang their purchases, and wished them happiness in return. She was anxious to get out of there; it was New Year’s Eve Day and she had a party to go to – somewhere to celebrate her decision to Do […]

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Letters from Krampus #6

December 25th 2016

Dear Diary, I don’t know if there’s enough ibuprofen on the face of the earth to tackle this backache. Sheesh, what a haul. I sometimes wonder, “Am I not scary enough?” Hello! Living embodiment of your consequences here! Comeuppance city! Sackings and beatings galore! HELLO?!? Sigh. I don’t mind my job; I really don’t. It’s […]

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December 24th 2016

“That’s right, Honey,” the Spirit of Christmas Possible said into her ear. “You’ve always had the goods. Dry those tears and slap a little red lipstick on; you’re ready to break a few hearts!” The woman in the mirror sat up tall, put her shoulders back, and searched her makeup bag for the most wanton […]

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December 23rd 2016

They sat at the window looking out at the shadows cast by the moon on the fresh snow. “More coffee, Love?” he asked. “No, no,” she responded. “I’m fine. It’s almost time.” He turned off the light. The shadows on the snow shifted, changed, and began to move; the wind picked up and, hidden in […]

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December 22nd 2016

David brushed off everybody’s thanks, shooing them out of the door and wishing them a merry-happy-whatever-you-celebrate. He rubbed his hands and got to work putting blankets and pillows in the common room, placing bowls of water in all four corners, setting out a zillion toys, and filling every pocket (pants, shirt, jacket) with treats. Humming […]

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