Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


September 25th 2017

“The cat vomited in the living room,” he said, stepping into the kitchen doorway. “Finders, cleaners,” she said with a smirk, tossing him the paper towels and bending to open the cabinet under the sink to get the spray goo. “The cat has retched up what appears to be a tiny finger or small toe,” […]

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September 18th 2017

Malvos found Worth sitting in front of the wall of calculations, every space completely full, rubbing the chalk slowly between his thumb and forefinger. “Worth?” he asked gently. “You okay?” “Oh, yes, yes,” Worth replied, shaking his head and sitting up. “There’s no place to write anything even if you did have a new idea,” […]

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July 1st 2017

“Every Saturday night is date night,” Aaron whispered. “Oh!” Bethany replied. “That is so sweet!” They watched from across the corridor as Dottie Sergeant, 88, waltzed with air {holding her arms in the perfect position). “Isn’t it dangerous, though? I mean … ,” Bethany remarked. “Yes and no,” Aaron replied. “One could say that every […]

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May 19th 2017

He stared at her (shyly, intermittently) as she rang up his order. She was surprisingly elegant, her hands moving seamlessly from item to scanner to bag (in a kind of retail ballet). “$54.62,” she said, smiling, and he blushed (fumbling to put his card in the machine). “You make it all look so easy,” he […]

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March 24th 2017

“Particles are separated here and attributed,” Ragland said. “Using genetic profiles to establish the physical parameters beforehand, we are able to parse the information into the categories of Known Matter and Unknown Matter.” “How dense are the boundaries?” Ingersoll interjected. “Uniformly distinct, but not dense,” Ragland replied. “The printout that you have reports our outcomes […]

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March 10th 2017

“You came!” he cried out, delighted. “After everything … I didn’t think you would.” She sat down and looked up at him, smiling sweetly. “I just … well, first things first: would you like a drink?” She shook her head ‘no’. “Okay, well don’t go anywhere; I’ll be right back!” he said happily (heading to […]

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March 3rd 2017

“Any vacation that starts with ‘It’ll be fine and it’s what we can afford’ is already lame,” she said flatly to the others (standing on the curb, waiting for the Uber driver). The three of them sighed. “Don’t jinx it; there’s still hope,” Fred responded (unconvincingly). “Here he is.” In the distance, headlights came into […]

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January 5th 2017

“Stealth tea!” Madame exclaimed, her smile warm and her eyes bright as she watched Herrick move about the service cart without saying a word. He grinned and nodded at her as he placed a tray of tea cakes upon the table, then prepared her cup. Two sugars. “A new year, dear Herrick,” Madame said softly. […]

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December 13th 2016

“Dante, man, he was a TRIP,” the demon said, breathing fire onto the top of its martini. “He goes on a bender, passes out, sees a couple of things, publishes a book, and we’re still digging out from that hot mess.” “Like how?” the other demon said, stirring its glass and wishing it’d gone with […]

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December 9th 2016

Jim sat in his car, not sure why he couldn’t turn it off and get out. Holiday music blared on the lot and lights twinkled, strung into a makeshift awning. “So many trees,” Jim whispered, hands still gripping the wheel tightly. “Doesn’t the forest miss all of its trees?” Someone banged on his car; Jim […]

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