Tansy Undercrypt

You have to see the movie – if only to prove to yourself that a movie CAN actually be made from that surreal, trippy tangle of a book (by Jason Pargin under the pseudonym of David Wong). They couldn’t tackle all of it, and that’s okay; what you’re left with is the world’s craziest romp with only enough linear thinking to keep it from being Dadaesque. A Reaper Rating of 4 (“Thrill Kill”) on this one, simply because I didn’t think it could be done … and I was wrong. Oh, so very wrong.

I have described Ania Ahlborn’s”Seed” to friends as a cross between “The Exorcist” and “Donnie Darko”; although some of the characters and situations seem familiar, the writing is spare and fresh and extra “in your face” because of the casual style. Do not read if you are looking for smatterings of “Poltergeist” humor; these are people in a decidedly Not Funny situation and the pressure and horror only increase throughout the book. I personally love how the main characters seem to waste a lot of valuable time in denial, doing nothing; this is a good countermeasure to other books that seem to have a superhero (just add water) in the wings. Some of the scenes are still with me – which is rare. I can see why the story was optioned for film development. Am I brave enough to see the movie if it’s made? Perhaps … “Seed” gets a Reaper Rating of 4 (“Thrill Kill”) for its verve, tenacity, and ability to inspire night light use.

One evening, Roy woke from dozing off in front of the television to find Vincent Price was on his couch. “I made myself a hot dog; I hope that’s all right,” Price said apologetically. “For a foodie, they’re almost forbidden fruit!” “Are you the angel of death?” Roy asked, cutting right to the chase (he was 91 now and it seemed relevant). “Does it really matter?” Vincent asked warmly. “Would you like a hot dog?” He was already getting up. “Sure,” said Roy a little shyly. “No ketchup, though; I’m a hot mustard man.” “I know,” Price responded with a grin.

Of the active reapers, Andy Griffith was one of the most popular and the least grim. His squad car would appear out of nowhere, pull the Almost Departed over, ask to see their license, then take off his shades and drawl that he’d have to cite them for a life well-lived. Typically, the person would gasp when they recognized him and then grin broadly, happily stepping out of their vehicle to shake his hand or hug him. And, when there was a larger number of souls to collect, Don Knotts rode shotgun. THAT was a laugh riot.

WARNING: IMAGES ARE UNSETTLING AND MAY CONTAIN VIOLENCE AND GORE

Joshua Hoffine’s photography is visual microfiction of the grimmest kind.  Working with a dazzling array of themes and classic tales (e.g., Persephone, H.P. Lovecraft’s “Pickman’s Model”), Hoffine approaches the photo shoot similar to a movie set designer, with tremendous care going in to all of the grisly details.  I am thrilled to see him moving into serial photography – using slideshows to tell an entire story (be sure to click on “Pickman’s Masterpiece” from the main menu).  Once you’ve treated yourself to the actual work, get a behind-the-scenes look at the setting up in his blog; truly fascinating. Joshua Hoffine’s work gets a Reaper Rating of 4 (“Thrill Kill”) for its total execution of idea and art.

Joshua Hoffine’s “Persephone”:

I am not a fan of the slasher film for several reasons – the main issue being that they’re insanely bad movies with ridiculous plots and the worst dialogue around. I had to admit that a slasher in the hands of Joss Whedon was too tempting to miss, however, so I caught “Cabin in the Woods” in the theater. At home, I had “Tucker and Dale vs. Evil” and “Evil Dead” was available through Netflix for playing instantly. We done had us a slasher marathon! “Cabin” is clever and horrible and funny – and the cabin in question looks exactly like the setting for “Evil Dead”; “Tucker and Dale” is also clever and horrible and funny – and the cabin in question looks exactly like the setting for “Evil Dead”; “Evil Dead” … well, there’s a reason it’s a classic … and it has that cabin.  Nice to sit through three films that redeem a very unfortunate genre (even though they failed to convert me). Best of the bunch is “Tucker and Dale vs. Evil”, which was a surprise.  The total package gets a Reaper Rating of 3 (“Timely Departure”) for an uncanny ability to blend humor and mass murder.

Formed in 2006 by Thomas Bergersen and Nick Phoenix, Two Steps From Hell sounds more like a band that would open for Marilyn Manson than a studio effort dedicated to making amped up background tunes for movie trailers. Thing is, when you’re good, you’re good. Two Steps has enjoyed incredible success in their chosen field, but the music was so thoroughly  amazing that public demand for their CDs began to mount.  In 201o, they released “Invincible” and, recently, its sequel “Archangel”. Far from the lead-guitar-and-chainsaw melodies you might expect, this is electronic operatic classical music – this is Cirque du Soleil gone to the dark side for the cookies they’ve been promised.  For its unexpected magnificence, Two Steps From Hell’s “Archangel” gets a Reaper Rating of 4 (“Thrill Kill”).

Two Steps’ bi-line says it best: “Music makes you braver.”

That’s right, RAY.  As the summer progresses, and the heat drives us into fantasies about fall and winter, get your chills early at the hands of a legend. Although known for his breathtaking science fiction, Ray Bradbury had a healthy dollop of dark fiction mojo which he sparingly released. “The October Country” (a collection of short stories) and “From the Dust Returned” (short stories woven into a larger book) are brilliant, dazzling reads; “Dark Carnival” (another collection) will prime the pump for another dive into “Something Wicked This Way Comes”.  Remember the man with some older work that lies off of the beaten path. Bradbury’s collections cannot be rated; they are priceless.

I am always delighted when the year’s fresh crop of horror films contains one or two supernatural stories – my personal favorite over slashers and mutations of nature (frequently the same thing). “The Woman in Black” is a lush, Victorian fright fest with a deserted house on the moors, a vengeful ghost, a young lawyer sensitive to matters of life and death, and townspeople one tragedy away from pitchforks and torches. Daniel Radcliffe is tremendous in the lead role – not so nervous he acts unintelligent, and not so intelligent he fails to realize he has reason to be nervous. Ciaran Hinds is also wonderful as a man who’d like to move on with his life (if only the spirits would let him). I give “The Woman in Black” a Reaper Rating of 4 (“Thrill Kill”) for its simplicity, clean twists and turns (it’s “PG-13″), and its potential to release a shriek or two.

If you’re a fan of the short story, as I am, collections and anthologies are the reading equivalent of Disneyland – unforgettable when they’re good, barely a head shake before you move on when they’re not. Here are two of the best I’ve recently come across:

William Malmborg’s “Scraping the Bone” is one of the best dark fiction collections I’ve read so far; tight, grisly little gems that stay clear of being too complicated but do not lack style. The author gives just as much time to each story as it needs; there’s no droning on here. “Scraping” gets a Reaper Rating of 4 (“Thrill Kill”) for delivering an old school creepfest in a modern setting.

Dan DeWitt’s “Underneath: Short Stories of Horror and the Supernatural” also loves its genre and stays true to it. The stories provide a host of great characterizations in creative predicaments that compel you to stay in the tale to learn what ultimately happened. DeWitt uses the collection as marketing for his upcoming book “Orpheus”, however, so a goodly chunk of it is the first few chapters of something else. “Underneath” gets a Reaper Rating of 3 (“Timely Departure”) for undeniable magic while it holds.