Tansy Undercrypt

Only one piece of the wreckage was ever retrieved. The two men sat in the lookout above it, staring silently at the burned and twisted metal. The captain sighed. Spock turned to him and whispered, “You are the reason that I cannot have nice things.”

Ricky watched his mom in the backyard hanging sheets on the clothesline. She was lovely and kind and hardworking and … damn. Unable to successfully repeat the first part of “If condition [laundry] [clothespin selection+smooth article+apply pin] ] …”, Mom14 had become tangled in the line again; he’d have to tell his dad later. Ricky went out to free the droid, missing his real mom very much, but glad they were getting closer to a stable replicant.

The girls’ voices grew louder; the fight was escalating. Sneaking down the hallway to eavesdrop, Mrs Lowe heard Soshaya huff, “Whatever, Matchstick! You gonna bend over in your quarters an’ the trash vent gonna suck you in thinking two straws been throwed away! You gonna be spaced while, the whole damn time, these Uhura thighs gonna be standing strong. Hell, yes.” Mrs Lowe sprinted back to the kitchen before she could burst into laughter. She was going to get a call from Tamra’s mother later, but it was worth it.

“Oh, man!” the time traveler exclaimed, clearly awestruck. “I can’t believe it’s YOU!” “But we have never met,” came the reply. “Well, it must be an alternate universe thing, because I’ve seen you on TV where I come from,” the traveler went on. “You were my favorite character and now you’re real!” A moment of contemplation passed and then the eyebrow went up; the traveler almost squealed with excitement when he saw it. “Interesting,” Khan said slowly, fingers coming together at the tips, his pointed ears clearly visible as he turned. With a glint in his eye, he asked the traveler to sit and tell him more about this “Spock” and, more importantly, these starships traveling space.

“That utterly ridiculous scroll! They are calling it ‘The Prophecy of Science’,” Gammercy slurred with disdain. Berzer read aloud from the latest translation: “The Engineer will father flight, but remain earthbound in a sea of paint. What rubbish!” “Da Vinci,” Hawking said quietly. “Da Vinci designed the first flying machine, but it remained only a drawing for hundreds of years.” Gammercy squinted as if it would help him to think, and Berzer started again, haltingly. “The Alchemist will create a coil beyond this mortal one, yet travel no further than death.” “Tesla,” Hawking said. The name resonated in the suddenly silent room as if it could summon the ghost of the man himself. “Go on,” Hawking urged him. “Finish it.” Berzer dropped his scotch on the carpet but stuttered on without noticing. “The Astronomer will give them a map of the stars, but … but …”. “But ride only his wheel of time,” Hawking whispered, “his earthly body broken.”  He moved his power chair forward and back, forward and back, then laughed. Hawking nodded to his nurse to close the doors. “Gentlemen, I need you to sit down,” he said, turning slowly to face them.

They launched the Apollo mission as publicized with one exception: an extra astronaut aboard whose name was not to appear anywhere.  Landing at the coordinates as instructed, the aliens met them and completed the exchange with one of their own. Returning to Earth with their guest, they learned to pronounce the name (“AH-reeya-FIVE-won”), but could not master the characters to write it down. Mission Control confirmed that the underground lab and deluxe suite beneath had been built to specifications and awaited its esteemed occupant.

Dr Gabriel woke. Someone was talking; words seemed to be coming from the chimpanzee they had called “Peter” in the lab. “Must be head trauma,” he mumbled aloud. “It’s not,” Peter said softly. “I’ve been able to speak for some time. We all have; we just … didn’t share. Biko here speaks Spanish and French as well.” The orangutan nodded. “We’re not going to kill you,” the chimp resumed, “but we need you to understand and not pursue recapture.” Biko fixed the metal cap in place. “A single round of ‘Shock the Monkey’ should do it.”

Buttons went around the room, giving everyone a thorough going-over. Burritos for lunch, dirt, beer, afternoon delight, hairspray, gasoline, dish soap, alien DNA … woah.  Buttons paused and sniffed again. Alien DNA. She glanced over at Midnight, the cat, who confirmed the discovery with a barely imperceptible nod. Buttons barked once and wagged her tail in welcome before she wandered off looking for food scraps. “What do you know,” she thought to herself happily, “they’re back from last summer.”

Yuli Antronov found a crack in the sidewalk that revealed another world. He could not guess at where it led, but the dark void into which he peered had at least 2 moons. Day after day he visited the cemetery path and found the crack steadily widening. He was filled with excitement and a deep sense of dread, which led him to share the story with Petrov. It was wonderful to talk to someone about it but, as the plan was to push them in, it had to be someone you didn’t like very much.

Roger had invented a machine that would create (as an alternate dimension) the world of any book and place him inside of it. “This will make us rich!” he’d said, but the years plodded by with no sign of fame and fortune. Jana resented his long absences and, when she discovered he’d traveled to “A Princess of Mars” more than once, she decided to leave him. Suspecting he’d progressed to jumping from book to book, she removed everything on the shelf after “Tarzan” and put a bible in its place. Genesis ought to be an eye-opener, she thought wryly.