Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

Attitude

January 2nd 2017

Thor howled with laughter as he told the others about New Year’s Eve in Asgard: the rivers of beer, the practical jokes, the Bifrost quick trip (where Heimdall sends you wherever he wants you to go for 5 minutes), and the “resolution swap” (where everyone puts their goals into a ceremonial golden bowl and pulls […]

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Ravages

August 22nd 2016

“And over here is the clinic,” Wesson said, leading the small group of civic leaders through the labyrinthine halls of the Justice League. “Triage and urgent care for general injuries, a surgical suite, and a private counseling office.” “You have a permanent medical staff?” Ketchum asked, surprised. “We have select staff on call; no need […]

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Client

August 9th 2016

“Lunch?” they asked her, grabbing their coats. “I can’t; I’m booked solid this afternoon,” Amy replied. “You have ONE appointment,” Mark razzed her. “Yep,” she said, not taking the bait. “We’re chiropractors, not brain surgeons,” Tina added, grabbing her purse. “I’m sure your client could wait for 20 minutes.” Amy shook her head ‘no’. “Girl, […]

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Upgrade

August 4th 2016

“What the hell?” Stark said into the empty room, finding nothing online. “Jarvis? You there, buddy?” There was no answer via the live comm channel. Pushing buttons and trying reboots for manual override, Stark asked, “Did you hate that last upgrade?” He puzzled over various strategies and jumped up to get some coffee. The electrical […]

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Sides

July 23rd 2016

Superman walked out of the bathroom in his underwear, toweling his hair dry. “Something you want to tell me?” Batgirl asked, her voice cool and even. He froze. “Uh … no?” “Nice briefs,” she said, her tone sharper, her eyes narrowing to slits. “Marvel brand. Black Widow’s face on the front.” Superman groaned inwardly, kicking […]

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Picture

June 15th 2016

“It was Stark’s idea,” Thor said, grinning when he saw the photographer’s jaw drop. They were all painted green, wearing Iron Man novelty boxers, a large hammer pendant, white knee socks with black spiders on them, a stars-and-stripes bandana, and a fake tattoo of an arrow on their right biceps. “And it’s genius, frankly,” Bruce […]

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Warning

May 12th 2016

“And play it cool with the romances,” Superman said, his eyes sweeping the classroom, looking at all of the trainees. “Your special abilities can really complicate things and you don’t want anyone to get hurt.” Blast chuckled. “Choose the right person to receive your superhero luuuuuuuuv,” he said and everyone laughed. “Rocket,” Superman said, ignoring […]

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Champion

April 14th 2016

Charlene looked down at the would-be mugger, out cold on the pavement. “So … you’re like … what? A crimefighter? Some kind of avenger?” she asked. “I am neither,” her hero replied, his face overly serious and drawn under the streetlight. “I simply cannot tolerate those who prey upon the innocent, lurking in the shadows, […]

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Support

March 23rd 2016

They sat on the veranda, far away from the main gathering, two or three bottles of wine and a bottle of scotch on the table. “We go through buckets of ibuprofen,” one said. “I have to order it from Mexico.” The others nodded. “Arnica rub,” another said. “Oceans of freaking arnica rub for bruising.” More […]

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Image

March 1st 2016

“These ideas for my ‘new image’ … present them,” he said in a cool and commanding voice. “Well,” Cole said, standing up, “I’m thinking ‘ramp up the sex appeal’, y’know? Feed back into the ‘True Blood’ market; buy some bars, have a line of sexy cocktails, do some crazy adverts where supermodels get turned. Real […]

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