Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


February 28th 2018

The moving van rolled down the street, past the Blessings (who cheered because they loved meeting new people)and the Curses (who hissed because they hated everybody as a general rule). It rumbled by the Haves, who wondered about all of the stuff inside and its leanings in terms of decor, as well as the Have […]

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February 6th 2018

She worked hard on the letter, writing and re-writing it until the words struck a balance between the misery of life, the fiery end of days, and God’s love; she then duplicated it in her own hand on notebook paper – one for every neighbor on her block. It was important to tell them about […]

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January 13th 2018

“Poor old guy,” Larry said, watching Badger lurch down the street. “Stubborn as they come, that old goat,” Roger added. “Nigh on 110, half blind, deaf as a post, and still living alone out at the county line.” “Be nice,” Barbara chided, giving them a refill on coffee. “You’ll be lucky if that’s you some […]

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January 3rd 2018

Wendell and Joe walked up to the arbor, intrigued. Wendell leaned in close to inspect it and came away nodding (clearly impressed). “What have we got?” Joe asked from the path. “Bachmann Knot”, Wendell replied. “A solid departure where Blake’s Hitch is typically used, but limiting. The Bachmann will reset itself as the plants grow, […]

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December 28th 2017

“Allow me to say ‘wow’,” John whispered, “with extra wow on the side, served on a bed of wow with wow sauce.” She laughed, so intoxicatingly beautiful when she smiled that he felt weak in the knees. “I made an effort this year,” Lily said softly, accepting a glass of pink champagne. “The time felt […]

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December 11th 2017

They watched her go by, adjusting her slip and then pausing in front of the drugstore window to check her reflection. She took the silk out of her hair, letting it fall loose around her shoulders, and kicked off her shoes, proceeding boldly down the sidewalk in her bare feet (bare but for one toe […]

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November 27th 2017

The walk home was predictably awful, the names called from cars (and the shrieking laughter that accompanied them) were ludicrously vile; he trained his mind to focus on larger problems using the cracks in the sidewalk as a kind of meditative pattern. Perry did not look up. “EMO FREAK!” someone yelled as he turned from […]

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November 20th 2017

“I love these little towns,” the reporter said with a grin. “So much character. Even the name … Careful.” “Ayup,” the convenience store clerk said, being friendly. “Short for “Careful What You Wish For”.” “Are you kidding?” the reporter asked, delighted. “That is THE BEST!” He took several pictures of the ancient gas pumps and […]

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November 18th 2017

“Wait,” Morgan said, surprised, “you’re taking the ancient spellbook to the GRAVEYARD?” “Yep,” Cherie confirmed. “And, once there, I plan to open it and read a page at random out loud – mispronouncing most of the Latin (like a boss).” Morgan shook his head. “Do you think that’s a good idea?” “No. It’s the very […]

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November 10th 2017

“Well?” Butters asked, stepping out of the exercise wheel in her cage and walking up to the glass. “Could be worse,” Midnight (a.k.a. The Vengeance) reported, sitting on the dresser, giving his ears a good rubbing. “Haunted woods; high ratio of dead to living (3 cemeteries where you’d think 2 would suffice); crazy neighbor.” “Crazy […]

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