Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


March 28th 2017

Tracie looked at the flashing lights in her rearview mirror and groaned. Pulling the car to the curb and stopping, she reached over and dug her license and insurance card out of her wallet. She felt suddenly distracted and sleepy as she powered her window down. “You were speeding,” the man’s voice said. “I was […]

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March 14th 2017

“Okay, so let’s take the failed test and deconstruct it again,” Morris said, looking at the data on his screen. “If we revisit the first tier variables, we can not only confirm their impacts, but steal an opportunity to commute or offload those impacts to the second tier variables … ” MacLaverty joined Harris and […]

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February 27th 2017

“I was wondering about your custom leatherwork,” said the caller. “Yep,” Jack said. “We do a lot of unique pieces; we’ve used just about every kind of leather.” “That’s wonderful,” the caller responded. “Would you have any problem making something out of human skin? I understand if it’s more.” Jack rolled his eyes. They got […]

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January 23rd 2017

“I think we’ve made tremendous progress on the ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ stereotype; there’s growing societal acceptance,” Snowball said. “Yes, I agree,” Mr. Tibbets added, addressing the room. “I applaud Engineering’s continuing good work on baselining the quality of the simulacra!” “But how are we doing in terms of social media?” Fancy asked, shaking her right […]

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December 31st 2016

They asked for a pack of smokes and wished her a happy new year; Julie smiled, rang their purchases, and wished them happiness in return. She was anxious to get out of there; it was New Year’s Eve Day and she had a party to go to – somewhere to celebrate her decision to Do […]

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December 27th 2016

He walked into the break room, feeling their eyes set upon him. All talking ceased. He sighed heavily, hanging up his cloak and putting the scythe in its special stand. “It’s not my fault,” Death said quietly. They were glaring, burning holes into his back as if he’d gone to Hell’s break room by mistake. […]

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December 6th 2016

She clomped in, hooves sparking against the cold stone, and dropped into a chair in the lobby. “Woah,” Spike reacted. “You’re in a mood.” Her tail flicked and her eyes flashed angrily. “You make one mistake,” she said (without going further). “Here to see the boss?” he asked and she nodded. “I been here loads […]

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December 2nd 2016

She moved methodically from one common area to the next (for she was no thief). Into the stack of envelopes she held in her left hand, she sorted individual hairs, plastic spoons, business cards, scribbles on napkins, and teeth-marked pens. Wedged between the garbage bin and wall was a small Tupperware container; no one had […]

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December 1st 2016

“You seem to really like your job,” Karen said, acting a little surprised. “I do,” Pete responded. “There’s a lot of variety and independence.” “Okay, but … ,” Karen continued, “I’m sorry, but … the mailroom? That’s your happy place?” Pete laughed. “Oh, it’s not a mailroom. When they’re looking at “streamlining some processes”, it’s […]

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PART TWO: Teaching Some People Some Manners

October 30th 2016

The cops never did question her about the boy and Clara did not spend her time on worry and guilt. By the time a room was prepared for her at the memory care center, she had corrected the neighbor’s tendency to throw his cigarette butts in his yard, demonstrated exactly why today’s youth should give […]

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