Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

Service

May 16th 2017

When the serviceman showed up, he tarried by the van for some time unpacking his equipment. Pam stepped out onto the porch to greet him. “I’m glad you could make it on such short notice,” she called out to him. “No problem!” he replied, spritzing himself with something. “Holy water,” he explained, catching her staring […]

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Progress

May 3rd 2017

“Any plans tonight?” he asked, making idle conversation. “Launching a couple of revenge fantasies and drinking the blood of my enemies,” she replied, not turning around. “Cool,” he continued. “Is that a standing weekly thing?” “It’s a movable feast,” she said flatly, lifting her fingers from the keyboard, “but it needs to occur before disposition […]

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Resume

May 2nd 2017

“Wait … they made an offer?” Woods asked, open-mouthed. “Yep,” Norton replied. “At the first interview.” “And you used the full resume?” Woods asked again, shaking his head. “The full meal deal,” Norton confirmed. “Hold up,” Woods said, his hands up in disbelief. “You gave them the resume that not only lists your coding languages […]

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Storage

April 14th 2017

“Are they all here in the warehouse?” Steve asked, marveling at the size of the place. “The haunted mirror? The singing mice? The dancing brooms?” Maeve laughed. “No, they’re not all here. This is just one building; there are several more – much like The Smithsonian.” “The grandmotherly teapot and the bumbling utensils? The flying […]

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Close

April 11th 2017

Tim and Lesley watched them through the conference room window (nonchalantly); it was hard not to press their faces up to the glass. Phil was gesticulating wildly, his voice growing louder. Medina sat in front of him, eyes narrowed, with her right hand playing at the bottom edges of her head wrap. “It’s happening! It’s […]

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Vial

April 10th 2017

“Three vials today,” Erica said, bringing the tray around in front of Mr. Gannon. “Three? I gave eleven pints last week!” he replied, dutifully rolling up his sleeve. “There are roughly eight pints in the entire human body, George,” Erica said, grinning at him. “Cool it or I’m taking four.” Gannon laughed and looked away; […]

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Box

April 7th 2017

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Wyburn said, laughing. “There is nothing in the archive room.” “Laugh if you want,” Telcher responded, “and feel free to take this box down there yourself.” “Dude, you watch too many horror movies,” Wyburn laughed again, and waggled his fingers in Telcher’s face. “I’m not going down there is what I’m saying,” […]

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Safety

March 28th 2017

Tracie looked at the flashing lights in her rearview mirror and groaned. Pulling the car to the curb and stopping, she reached over and dug her license and insurance card out of her wallet. She felt suddenly distracted and sleepy as she powered her window down. “You were speeding,” the man’s voice said. “I was […]

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Optimism

March 14th 2017

“Okay, so let’s take the failed test and deconstruct it again,” Morris said, looking at the data on his screen. “If we revisit the first tier variables, we can not only confirm their impacts, but steal an opportunity to commute or offload those impacts to the second tier variables … ” MacLaverty joined Harris and […]

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Custom

February 27th 2017

“I was wondering about your custom leatherwork,” said the caller. “Yep,” Jack said. “We do a lot of unique pieces; we’ve used just about every kind of leather.” “That’s wonderful,” the caller responded. “Would you have any problem making something out of human skin? I understand if it’s more.” Jack rolled his eyes. They got […]

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