Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


July 31st 2011

She stared at the book of shadows for a long, long time.  Eye of newt?  Toe of frog?  Wool of bat?  Tongue of dog?  For real?  Jesus. Small wonder they burnt you back then if they could find you; today, the threat would come more from PETA than the neighborhood priest.  ‘Maybe Buddhism is more […]

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Lifelong Goths

July 26th 2011

At some point, lifelong goths begin to wear their black INSIDE and are thus free to wear pink or ThinkGeek t-shirts if they like. This is not because they’ve grown out of any particular phase; it is simply that they no longer need fashion to proclaim their aesthetic. It is important to note that, after […]

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For the Love of Water

July 24th 2011

Land was a complete moron; Water knew this, but she had pined for so long … brushing up against him when she could, being mysterious, being dramatic.  Sometimes, there was a little rush of fascination but, overall, nothing.  Then he took up with Fire and that was the last bloody straw.  She would come ashore […]

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M & M, Incorporated

July 17th 2011

“Mr. Mayhew?” she asked.  “Uh, no, actually – it’s ‘Mayhem’.”  “I see.  And you’re in an investigative partnership with Terrance Merder?”  “Yes, ma’am; that’s correct.”  The registrar looked at him coldly over her glasses.  “Merder and Mayhem, Private Detectives”?  “Can’t fight Fate,” he said with a broad grin.  Too broad, she casually noted.

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Way Down Yonder

July 13th 2011

Why is the South so scary?  I have no idea, but it bloody well is.  Treat yourself to some terrific stories out by the side of The Moonlit Road.

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Dangerous Sweets

July 12th 2011

(Torn portion of a list left at Grandhall’s Confectionary by Mrs. Arabella Dreadpenny:) Molasses Bitters Candied mint leaf … (a dark smudge obscures the text) … dipped and thickly covered, mandrake (again, the text is unreadable) … like butterscotch …

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MOD2: Liquidation

July 10th 2011

I’ve submitted a story for inclusion in ‘Machine of Death 2’; please think good thoughts about “Liquidation”!

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The Other Tansy

July 10th 2011

I watched “Burn, Witch, Burn” via Netflix the other day – solely because the witch in question is named ‘Tansy’.  (There aren’t a lot of us, so you can imagine my excitement.)  I had low expectations, but was pleasantly surprised by this 1962 occult thriller, which delivered its fair share of mystery, chills, paranoia, voodoo […]

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The Agnostic

July 10th 2011

Tracy’s guardian angel smiled.  “Typically, people are impressed when I appear before them.”  She shut her calculus book.  “I’m sorry; it’s nothing personal.  I’m just freaking out about this test.  You could be a stress-induced hallucination for all I know.”  Again, that smile.  “What if I told you that I used to be a math […]

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The Thing About Microfiction

July 9th 2011

I’m always delighted when a person falls in love with a piece of my microfiction; it’s wonderful hearing that it chilled them, moved them or made them laugh.  It’s often hard to confess that there’s nothing else to read – it exists only as its 420-character self; it isn’t the trailer to a longer story […]

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