Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


May 31st 2012

“I’ll send a yellow balloon; that’s how you’ll know,” she’d said. That was a million years ago, before all good dreams turned to dust and memory. Now, Hector was just another old man shuffling by, passing long days short on purpose. A truck with a yellow balloon painted on its side drove slowly by him […]

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Pound Foolish

May 30th 2012

Stacey biked over to Bart’s house and asked him point blank: “Why is Ronald McDonald hiding in a storm drain at the intersection of 5th and Elm?” Bart sighed and rolled his eyes. “Two for one hamburger promotion,” he said. “It got that Pennywise clown a lot of attention in Derry.” “No one’s THAT hungry,” […]

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May 29th 2012

Lying on the mountain, covered in snow and charred pieces of Balrog, Gandalf gathered his thoughts as he slowly turned White. Maybe, if he made it through this, he’d answer Dumbledore’s letter about the ‘Defense Against the Dark Arts’ position.  He had to admit that a desk job sounded terrific at the moment.

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May 28th 2012

“I don’t know why you read that junk,” she sneered, hitting the “k” hard enough to spit. I put the science fiction down and looked at her. I wanted to say “Well, Kim, I read this junk because I want to be one of those people who could wake up tomorrow, find that aliens had […]

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Tansy Goat

May 27th 2012

I cannot deny that, if I were a goat, I’d be up in everybody’s business exactly like THIS.  Too perfect, really.

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Reaper Rating: Mr. Black’s Concoction

May 27th 2012

  If you imbibe and like a big red wine, hold on to your socks; if you’re shopping for a gift bottle and want to give something intelligent and interesting, consider sending a pair of extra socks to the lucky recipient!  At less than $20 per bottle, Small Gully’s ‘Mr. Black’s Concoction’ is a Hulk […]

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May 26th 2012

Helen stared at the whiskey bottle. “Breakfast, anyone?” Her eyes filled with tears, hands shaking as they reached for the cap. Outside, a crash; Lila French (all of 5) had fallen from her 2-wheel bike again. She stood it up, crying, and walked a little ways repeating “I’m brave. I’m smart. I can do it. […]

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May 25th 2012

Arnie loved to swim and, looking on the bright side, he never had to leave the pool if he didn’t want to now. He looked up and saw Sara Doeringsfeld staring down into the water, terrified. He waved at her and she screamed and cried and refused to go in. She kept pointing to the […]

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May 24th 2012

Deadly, the eighth dwarf, watched the young woman inside – dancing and singing with the other seven against the glow of the hearth. She was lovely and they were jovial; he did not begrudge them their high spirits. His dark hooded cloak kept him warm against the rain and the scythe he held before him […]

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May 23rd 2012

After many years had passed, Barry found himself staring up at a spotlight feeling oddly disoriented. “Hadn’t I?” he stammered. “At the hospital?” Andy slipped an arm around his shoulders; the twins flanked him on the other side. “Wha?” he gasped, reaching out to touch them in disbelief. Robin smiled. “Welcome; now get to work. […]

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