Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

The Undercryptic Lexicon, Snippet #7

September 30th 2012

The Reverend Natius Prawndribble was surprised to find himself [BLANK], leading him to conclude that a) [BLANK], and b) [BLANK]. (Illustration by Edward Gorey) Tansy’s answer:  spontaneously reincarnated as a dining utensil, he knew nothing of theology, was (quite literally) not the sharpest knife in the drawer.  (Post your own answers and read the genius […]

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September 29th 2012

The girls squealed with delighted terror, extinguishing their flashlights and watching Rae’s father pose like a werewolf in silhouette against the backyard tent (the full moon cast an almost noonday glow). This was the greatest slumber party ever! Looking out of the kitchen window, Rae’s father thought, “What the hell is that by the tent? […]

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September 28th 2012

“What’s going on?” George asked the other residents, pressed against the front two windows of the care facility. “Has there been an accident?” “It’s Mavis Tarsitter,” Ed responded, hushed. “She’s outside practicing.” George went to the door and opened it. Sure enough, Mavis (age 84) was throwing 2 huge Bowie knives into a mannequin’s head […]

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September 27th 2012

She went back for the funeral – mostly to play the end game (that was the truth of it). Ellie spoke very little to the few that gathered for the service, and she escaped before anyone could offer her a ride back to her hotel. There wasn’t one. Taking her time (for she was no […]

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September 26th 2012

He missed his friends – the friends of his most recent “life”; it was a hazard of immortality. On Friday nights, he watched them on Netflix: Lugosi, Lorre, Chaney, Cushing. Cushing hurt the worst; he’d been the only one Boris had offered to change  (but he’d lost Helen by then and wanted nothing more than […]

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September 25th 2012

On a dare, he attempted to take her brownie. Walking casually behind her in the cafeteria, Peter lunged quickly to the left to steal it from her tray. Annie was instantly airborne; her right knee came down on his upper back, sending his forehead into the table. She pulled his collar as she rolled across […]

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September 24th 2012

“I don’t want to hear some stupid cowboy story for little kids,” Aaron sulked, not at all happy that his parents had gone on a “romantic getaway” (yuk) without him.”Of course not,” his uncle agreed. “I was gonna tell you the one about The Time Gunner – an outlaw so mean that he wore a […]

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The Undercryptic Lexicon, Snippet #6

September 23rd 2012

The Devil, having realized he’d [BLANK], made haste to [BLANK] before [BLANK]. (Illustration by Edward Gorey) Tansy’s answer:  left the kettle on, harvest his full list of souls, tea time  (See everyone’s answers on the Tansy Undercrypt Facebook page here.)

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September 22nd 2012

Only one Nightsiders picnic was ever held; it was a total failure. The vampires brought beverages, which they promptly drank, then hung in the trees napping all afternoon. The werewolves provided meat for grilling, refused to cook it, ate it all, then sat around licking themselves. You could never tell if the ghost families were […]

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September 21st 2012

Everything was so white; she felt disoriented. Passing a mirror, she stopped. She looked utterly fabulous. Seriously, it was like Grace Kelly had taken pity on Cloris Leachman and given her a baby; the hair was, in particular, singularly gorgeous and amazing. Behind her, someone cleared their throat. She spun, slightly embarrassed, but ready with […]

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