Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

Jack

October 31st 2012

“Everybody thinks there’s something wrong with Jack Nicholson because he takes those creepy roles,” Charlie said to his family during the commercial break, “but everybody thinks Vincent Price was a nice man and he did the same thing.” They all looked at him. “I guess, if I was the Devil, I’d be a likable guy, […]

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Road

October 30th 2012

Jerry gripped the wheel a little tighter, shaking his head to wake himself up. The truckers told stories of these country byways, singing the praises of the daytime short cut, but warning of the perils of the empty, moonlit road. Jerry wasn’t concerned with all of that; he was looking off into the blackness, searching. […]

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Cookies

October 29th 2012

“Miss Weatherbee,” the home aide asked softly, “are you scared of dying at all?” “Oh, heavens no, Child,” she responded warmly. “Been ready for years. I keep clean, spruce up when I can manage it, speak my gratitude for the kindnesses I’ve been shown in this life, and store a box of Thin Mints in […]

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The Undercryptic Lexicon, Snippet #11

October 28th 2012

Upon the vast expanse of the Westmoreland Wastes, three ladies walked and sought their destinies. The first, [BLANK], while the second [BLANK]. The third merely hoped [BLANK].   (Illustration by Edward Gorey) Tansy’s answer:  seeking only to shake her chronic ennui, led the way; scrambled to find a foothold in reality; that she would not […]

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Folks

October 27th 2012

Monty’s grandpa was the only one who didn’t tease and belittle him for his Punk and Goth phases (especially the latter, as it seemed a permanent thing). “Some folks are ‘Once Upon a Time’ folks,” Grandpa said, putting an arm around the boy’s shoulder. “They seem to need their happy endings guaranteed before they give […]

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Walk

October 26th 2012

Andrea stuck her hands in her pockets and walked on. “Really,” she said, snapping her gum, “most horror movies are lame – and ghost stories are the lamest of all!” She looked over at Becca, who was wearing an odd expression. “The one thing that gets me,” Andrea continued, “is that creepy, lightning-fast ghost walk. […]

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Feast

October 25th 2012

Benjamin was a vegetarian with a day off at Thanksgiving. His grandmother would make the most incredible blood sausage; no one could resist it. Coincidentally, the people who had given them trouble throughout the year would have, by that time, moved or stopped coming around or just out-and-out mysteriously vanished. He didn’t ask. They didn’t […]

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Destiny

October 24th 2012

They had to stand up at the front and answer facing the rest of the class. When it was her turn, Millie clomped up to the teacher’s desk in her pink high-tops and spun around, her black braid whipping across her shoulder. “What would YOU like to be when you grow up, Millie?” Mrs Foster […]

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Web

October 23rd 2012

She awoke from the strangest dream and it stayed with her all day. In it, she’d been a spider living at the top of a large doorway; a talking pig would happen by and they’d engage in conversation – or she’d weave him messages in her web. “How incredibly disturbing,” Charlotte thought with a shudder. […]

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Lawman

October 22nd 2012

Weston Kendrick had been bitten and stung so many times during his almost 30 years patrollin’ the canyon that his own bite had become poisonous. He didn’t even bother bleeding the wound if something got him, they say – just absorbed it and went right on. As a lawman frequently involved in fisticuffs, this proved […]

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