Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

Prince

May 31st 2013

Cynthia let herself into the zoo clinic, setting the box down carefully and looking to verify that they were alone. She turned on the tropical incubator and slipped into her lab coat. She was surprisingly nervous. “Gawd, Cindy,” she chided herself, “it’s not like you haven’t done this before.” In a lifelong effort to find […]

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Research

May 30th 2013

What was left of Sauron hired a focus research firm to do some consumer testing for his next incarnation across a broad spectrum of oppressed peoples. The findings recommended that he offer more than an eye (a glowing red eye was deemed creepy); next, make his headquarters more appealing (less desolate and blasted and more […]

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Creatures

May 29th 2013

Patrick opened the window and sat carefully on the sill. “Hey, Night Creatures,” he whispered, “just how dangerous are you?”  The hisses and howls and screeches built from nothing to a deafening roar within seconds; he could hear his grandmother gasp as she dried dishes in the kitchen. Under the full moon, little Patrick smiled […]

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Curse

May 28th 2013

The old gypsy woman smiled as her client left the trailer, shouting and running fearfully for his car. There was no curse, of course; she slipped easily out of the ratty wig and fake nose, the stage makeup and dowdy clothes. After a hot shower had refreshed her, she spiked her trendy pixie cut, slipped […]

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Honor

May 27th 2013

He listened to the speeches with the others, standing proudly on a random battlefield with the men, women, and children who were being remembered for their contributions and sacrifices down through the ages. “Honor is always agreeable,” Lincoln said to the wisp of a boy standing next to him, “even if the oration is less […]

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The Undercryptic Lexicon, Photograph #19

May 26th 2013

A sheriff’s precinct stamp places this in “Black Bog, Texas”. Evidence notes on the back include the comment: “[BLANK]“. (Source: unknown) Tansy’s answer:  “After arrest, they attempted to remove Bartlett’s costume, only to find he wasn’t wearing one.” (Post your own answers and read the genius of others on the Tansy Undercrypt Facebook page here.)  

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Ragtag

May 25th 2013

He looked around. It was a ragtag bunch, with a few of these and a couple of those; oddballs mostly … loners.  “Another island of misfits,” his mind offered and Legolas smiled. They would forge ahead, defeat the evil, win the day, and maybe – just maybe – he’d trust some of them enough to […]

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Muster

May 24th 2013

Dooley drifted into the natal ICU filled with tenderness and concern as he counted the little bodies not lucky enough to be born without a care in the world. The nurses and doctors breezed right through him, but he was used to this. Only the babies, so close to their beginnings, could see and hear […]

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Therapy

May 23rd 2013

The Night Therapist turned on the light in her office and a green glow spread dimly across the room. Looking at her appointment book, she sighed.  “Snaggletooth” at midnight: a nosferatu dealing with the low self-esteem only Hollywood could create (victims were always so disappointed that he wasn’t handsome and romantic); “Fleabag” at 1am: there […]

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Protected

May 22nd 2013

Their family entered the Witness Protection Program and that was that. They stopped being “Garstopovich” and became “Brown”, moving to some podunk, middle-of-nowhere town populated with rejects: the grown kid who carried a blanket around, the evil girl who wanted to be a psychiatrist, the piano prodigy, the little hippy chick who wore sandals all […]

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