Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy


May 30th 2015

“Okay, I’m back from the hospital; I’m just here to grab something to eat and then I’m off to volunteer at the nursing home,” Marjorie called out to her family. “We’re concerned that you’re not making time for family and friends – that you’re not going out,” her mom said, appearing in the doorway. “And […]

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May 29th 2015

“What’s the matter, Honey?” he asked, sitting down next to his daughter on the bed. The tears flowed freely. “It’s my stupid hair! I hate my hair!” she sobbed. “What’s wrong with your hair? I think it looks nice,” he offered, already feeling the burden of saying the right thing. “It’s thick and glossy! It’s […]

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May 28th 2015

“So the only thing you need to do to be popular around here is lurk menacingly?” one slurred. “No! You need to do more than that!” cried another. “You need to be able to lurk AND be the worst conversationalist ever!” “Wait! Wait! That’s not enough!” said a third, taking the flask and draining it. […]

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May 27th 2015

“Call the service and get the EMTs to tail us,” Dibzek said to his partner. “Uh, why?” Jones replied, confused. “Uh … because I said,” Dibzek replied, tired of everything already this morning, especially his ability to see the dead. “Possible suicide,” he muttered afterwards, feeling sheepish about snapping. There wouldn’t be an official call […]

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May 26th 2015

“Wow, he sprinted out of here! Hear something he didn’t like?” Teresa asked, coming out of the back with two cups of tea. Her mother (Madame Fate) laughed. “No, not exactly. I revealed to him that he will have 47 happy, 11 mediocre, and 23 unhappy years in total, but confessed that I cannot predict […]

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May 25th 2015

The Captain of the Honor Guard was called to the site, and he resigned himself to seeing some kind of protest in place. As he neared the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, he saw the typical holiday crowds and the infantrymen standing impeccably in position. “What’s up?” he said to the off-duty guard who had […]

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May 23rd 2015

Jaclyn looked down from the stage and saw that the Miss America pageant judges had turned into ex-boyfriends who truly hated her; they started asking her the finalist questions in Hungarian and she starting crying. Jaclyn woke up laughing, confused, and a little horrified. “Everything all right, Honey?” her mom called from the other side […]

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May 22nd 2015

When it was time, the Tin Man ordered his decommissioning and gathered his loved ones around him. Their stainless steel, platinum, and titanium panels shone in the bright sun, truly beautiful, but he did not talk to them about routine maintenance, compound alloys, and operating systems. He urged them to practice patience with glitches in […]

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May 21st 2015

“I guess I’m wondering what the hell you’re doing; do you want EVERYONE to hate you?” Amanda asked, offended and enraged. “Yes,” Stephanie replied. “For the purpose of the work, everyone can hate me.” She fell into a coughing fit that lasted a few minutes. Amanda stood up and grabbed her things. “Well, here’s to […]

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May 20th 2015

While Mike started up the mower, little Joey stood at the window and cried and waved – not at him, but the grass. Eventually, Pam came to comfort him and steered him away to set up a mini birthday party with plates for the cookies and glasses of milk. When Mike was finished, he came […]

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