Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

Care

February 29th 2016

Bartholomew put on his coat and took hold of the bucket handle. The curse complete, there were bones, herbs, and other edible bits aplenty that he could leave in the woods for the things that roamed there. “No need to waste anything,” he said aloud, leaving through the back door to take the eastern path […]

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Part Two: Addie

February 28th 2016

(On the last weekend of the month, “Letters from Management” will make room for the second act of a recent microfiction.) When Pamela arrived at the emergency room for her shift, the waiting area was standing room only with a three-hour backlog. “Jeeeebus,” she said under her breath. “This is nuts.” Mark nodded. “Been like […]

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Myth

February 27th 2016

Mrs. Olympia told them to take their seats and quiet down for Show and Tell. “Who’s first?” she asked, giving the room a broad smile. Herman was first, holding up his brand new trainers that he’d painted wings on and making boasts about how fast he could go. Zeke went next, plugging in a plasma […]

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Garbage

February 26th 2016

“I know, I know, he treats me like garbage,” she told them. “And I know that I should leave.” They all nodded. “Honestly, ” one said, shaking their head, “I don’t know why you’ve stayed this long.” “Well, mostly, it’s because he finds me so irritating. I’m really getting into annoying him all day every […]

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Intern

February 25th 2016

The new intern arrived on location with the coffee order. “Here we see a property with almost unlimited potential. The bones of this place are fantastic, but it’s been ruined by years of trendy interior decorating and overwrought landscaping,” said the television host. The intern stood behind Camera One looking confused; the place was beautiful. […]

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Ability

February 24th 2016

Henry could see angels and explain, even at 6 years old, how the wings weren’t exactly feathers (more like an air design that floated around them). Shy and quiet, he began to worry about the hype that was forming around his ability and he frequently apologized to the angels that he met for things getting […]

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Help

February 23rd 2016

Addie walked the city for hours, finding perfectly good cardboard in the warehouse district (for the new kid – the one with the Army tattoos) and a big bag of blankets brought back from the laundry service but rejected by the hospital (Warren was going to need two; he was getting so skinny). Although it […]

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Critics

February 22nd 2016

“What do you say to the critics who’ve started calling you ‘Skeletor’?” the reporter asked. Skellvig grinned. “Well, what can I say? The fireplace IS made of the bones of my enemies. Welcome to Castle Grayskull!” He made a sweeping gesture with his arm, laughing and inviting the crew to leave the great hall and […]

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Letters from Management #8

February 21st 2016

Mr. S. King 61616 Blackstone Way Harbour, ME 48814 Dear Mr. King, Our deepest apologies that we could not complete your most recent reservation; the hotel is under significant repair and renovation following a harsh winter where caretaking staff were unable to adequately maintain the boiler (resulting in both fire and water damage). The bones […]

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Heat

February 20th 2016

“God, it’s hot,” Jessica said, squinting against the harsh sun in the parking lot. “Aren’t you hot?” she asked Todd, who still had his blazer on. “Oh, no, I like this,” he replied with a grin. “Can’t get enough of it; the hotter, the better.” Marty groaned, wiping at the beads of sweat forming at […]

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