Tansy Undercrypt
Author, Illustrator, Purveyor of Doom & Whimsy

Misery

May 11th 2017 in Microfiction

Satan opened the file, his eyes grew wide, and closed it again. “I don’t suppose we have to do a deep dive as to why you’re here.” Barnes shook his head ‘no’. “I do have to collect what we like to call a “misery statement” before eternity begins. You know – what you most regret about your choices; how you look back with despair at missed opportunities to do good,” Satan proceeded. “Okay,” Barnes said softly. “I regret that I didn’t give the world what it needs now.” “And what is that?” Satan asked, getting his quill in hand to transcribe. “Love, sweet love,” Barnes whispered. “What?” Satan asked, leaning forward. “It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of,” Barnes continued. Sitting back hard, Satan threw his pen across the desk. “Get him out of here,” he barked to the guardian demon. “Seventh Level; Quadrant 6; Quippers, Punsters, and Other Linguistic Infidels”. Barnes got up, smiling as he was escorted out. Satan grumbled and shifted in his seat, hearing Burt Bacharach singing away inside his head (the ear worm deeply in place). “That is one evil guy,” he muttered.


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