DIARY PAGES: Krampus

Constipated as heck from all of the dairy; if I never see eggnog, candy canes, or frosted gingerbread crack houses again, my life will be complete.

Nursing my typical post-holiday humbug, I cast a travel glamour and headed to the airport to board the plane back to Florida.

I was supposed to be in the window seat, but some idiot whined all over me to let his kid sit there to spare us all tantrums and the like. Oh, we'll be spared; one insolent mumble, and I'm gonna lift the glamour for that little miscreant and stare for the duration of the trip.

See you soon, gators and snakes, basic apartment with inadequate air conditioning, world's most tawdry Tiki bar two blocks away, and truly mind-numbing day job. It's going to feel great to be home.