How extraordinary that you were never captured as a wee, troublesome child - that you live on, unsacked, out in the open where it’s possible … entirely possible … Krampus could realize that he’d missed one!

Tick tock, All Grown Up. Tick freaking tock.

Saint Nicholas’ rampaging dark half has been responding to the letters of desperate children for seven seasons now (with profanity carefully translated from its original ancient Gothic). The “Letters from Krampus” start the Sunday after Thanksgiving and end the Sunday after Christmas; 2025 will be no exception. In former seasons, they’ve been shared exclusively on Facebook but, this year, will hit the website also (with a thud, after a sound thrashing).

Read … if you like.

Run … most definitely.