Starvation

"You look awful. I haven't had the guts to say anything until now, but ... I just ... dude."

"I know."

"Are you starving yourself? What is happening?"

"You're not going to believe me when I tell you that I'm eating just fine; there's been no change."

"THEN WHAT IS IT? I'm really concerned!"

"Everyone I eat is on a GLP-1. I could eat an entire food court at sunset and keep wasting away. I think I'm getting to the point where moving is the only option."

"I'll go with you if you like; maybe tonight? Just pack the box and take off. Head to the South, where they still fry stuff or the Midwest where it's dairy products a-go-go."

"Either one would be amazing. Maybe the plains first to detox? Eat a boatload of meat and just chill? You don't have to feel pressured to join me; you look great. I was going to ask what YOU'RE doing."

"It's Botox. Same shit different dusk for me, too. If I don't make a change, I'll look 25 years old but won't be able to feel my lips enough to latch on."

"Our standard of beauty is changing at long last," the vampire sighed to its kin, sheepishly admitting that what it really pined for now was not protruding clavicles, but a bit of pudge.