Safety

The Witzers were held in a kind of tragic esteem as quite possibly the most boring people alive. "No wit, wowzers," Francine often said, steeling up for any event to which said couple had been invited (kicking joie de vivre to the curb in favor of being neighborly). When their names were found on any guest list, Francine would proclaim the evening a Growth Opportunity and have at least one glass of wine beforehand. "You know the safety phrase," she asked Craig, her demeanor grim. "I do," he would verify. "Speak it aloud, my good man," Francine instructed. "Save yourself; my charm is almost gone," Craig repeated from memory. "And what do we do when my charm is almost gone?" she pressed, valuing his health and safety above all else. "We run," he responded (without delay). "We run like hell." Francine nodded, satisfied, and went to hall closet to grab their coats.