Phase

Anna looked up, smiled, and went back to reading; eventually the person stopped talking and excused themself. This pattern repeated several times (with different people), until Anna picked up her things and moved inside of the library to the Quiet Study room (she was not, in fact, quietly studying, but it sent the right message and mandated certain behavior modifications). "How can you stand it?!?" Nour asked on their lunch break. "Don't you want to just hurl the book at them and start screaming?!?" Anna laughed. "No, actually; it's perfect. I hate reading outside, to be honest (having to protect the pages from damage of all kinds), but I need them to see me and approach." "WHY?!?" Nour marveled. "Because living well is the best revenge," Anna responded quietly, "but Phase One of living well is not telling them you were scarred by how they treated you, but by letting them experience how little you care about their presence or opinion. They need to beg for attention and be denied." Nour's mouth hung open. "Mentor me," she eventually whispered. Anna smiled. "Go home, slip into your favorite clothes, make your favorite meal, and relax in your favorite way; do it on purpose. On your calendar or in your diary, note that - on this date - you celebrated the end of needing external recognition and validation. Give it a snazzy name (I call mine the Feast of Shrug); celebrate it as a holiday every year moving forward." Someone tapped on the glass of the lounge trying to get Anna's attention; she looked up, shook her head "no", and turned back to her friend with a smile. "The Feast of Shrug," Nour repeated, transfixed.